Not A Practising Jedi

I received the census forms this week (delivered by hand, no less). I know some people get hot under the collar about this and I think it is evident of the increasing mistrust that many people have for "they", the faceless ones that run the country, that some people are actively boycotting the whole process. I would sympathise with them to a point were it not for the wealth of data for future academics and amateur genealogists that the census generates. It is now possible to access census records from 1911 and see what my grandparents (and great-grandparents for that matter) were up to. It's mostly mundane stuff but the occasional question does give some insight into how people view themselves even if it does create consternation for some.

There are a couple of questions where even I can see that a "Prefer Not To Say" option would be perfectly acceptable. The first of these relates to ethnicity. The problem with this is that it is a case of self-identification rather than an objective categorisation. Of course it can't be objective, as ethnicity is by definition subjective - it is ultimately down to someone else's prejudice. However, they do not phrase the question as "What do others view your ethnic group as?" This is a little odd as the multiple choice answers clearly give the impression of the sort of answers they are looking for.

I'm assuming that I will be regarded as white, but am I regarded as "Scottish", "Other British", "Irish", "Gypsy", "Polish" or "Other". I think the Polish question is aimed at recent arrivals but they are unlikely to find their answers in the Falkirk area which has a long established Polish community (it even has a Polish Ex Servicemen's Club). I would imagine I would tick "Other British" as it encompasses my Welsh, English and Irish relatives as well as the Scottish but ultimately what I am identified as would come down to whether you ask someone from England or Scotland. That's not about ethnicity, it's about accent. Maybe that's why I get ethnically abused for using Scottish notes in England? There are also others for who the "Prefer not to say" option might be applicable. My mother-in-law is rather put out by this ethnicity question on the census. She is from Germany and it was during a census in the 1930s that it was clear that the questions had an ulterior motive. Her grandfather traced their family tree and it was evident that there were some directions that it was advisable not to probe too far. In fact many countries ban questions relating to race and ethnicity altogether. I suppose the best we could do is to tick the "Other" box and enter: Homo Sapiens.

The other question which people seem to get into a flap about is belief. In fact, this is a voluntary response but they seem to have messed up the question from the previous census. They simply ask "What religion, religious denomination or body do you belong to?" On the 2001 census this was phrased in terms of two questions as to whether one was brought up in a particular tradition and whether they practised a religion now. This formation gave some useful indication as to whether a faith was still followed or whether it was merely something that someone puts down on a hospital entry slip. For example, my brother-in-law describes himself as ATHEIST (Catholic); which just goes to prove Dara o'Briain's point about it being the stickiest religion in the world. He suggested marking on the census form: "Don't believe in God, but I do still hate Rangers."

The problem with the question as drafted is that many people will still tick "Church of Scotland" or "Roman Catholic" simply because they happened to be christened or married in that church, regardless of whether they have any sort of affiliation with that faith or even believe any of their central tenets. It also excludes those who may have a strong philosophical or spiritual belief which is not reflected in some sort of organised religion. During the 2001 census many people marked this question as "Jedi Knight", which is the made-up religion of the Star Wars universe (as opposed to any of the made-up religions of our universe). I don't know if many people are going put Jedi for this census. Essentially, practical jokes are only funny the first time.

A possible alternative for a joke answer could be Pastafarian: a follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster deity. This was originally a spoof designed by an American academic who was a bit put out at religious people trying to teach some kind of Creationism in school biology lessons. I think he was making a serious point but I the whole Spaghetti Monster spoof has a certain amount of fun about it. I could imagine that Terry Gilliam, the animator for Monty Python, could make a great little sketch out of it. In fact, he often used spoofs of Judeo-Christian art in his animations so this would fit in nicely.

I think I will probably just tick the "none" box on the religion question. It doesn't really reflect my interest in religious or philosophical matters just as those who tick Church of Scotland or Catholic may have no interest at all in their "chosen" faith. For the ethnicity question, I'm going to stick everyone down differently. That should confuse them when they try to work out what on Earth went on in this family.