Somewhere in the distant past I owned a rather nice shortwave radio. This lead to all sorts of fun tuning into exotic foreign radio stations. I would also occasionally stumble upon the odd pirate station, often manned by enthusiastic amateurs with somewhat idiosyncratic tastes in music. I’m not sure how many pirate stations are still knocking about – I couldn’t find any on my radio now – but there is a new phenomenon in niche broadcasting which encompasses the enthusiasm of the music aficionado without the risk of running into trouble with the law or doing inadvisable things with lightening conductors. It’s internet radio.
Last week, I was delighted to find out that a sometime drinking pal from Liverpool was having his first go at internet deejaying. As well as a common interest in proto-alcoholism he also shares my love of the kind of music that causes tinnitus, fashion faux pas and goes Kerrang! Not free-form Jazz or 20th Century atonalism, but Heavy Metal. So I tuned in to Total Metal Radio last Sunday to listen to the first broadcast by Dan “Reaperman” Thomason (to give him his full metallic moniker – well, I’m assuming that the middle bit wasn’t a birth name.)
I think he actually made a good job of it. The music was a fair mix from Budgie to Megadeth with a fair bit in between. The radio station also has a request board for when it isn’t manned and it gives an idea of what the range of music is. The problem with genre radio stations is where to draw the boundary. John Peel used to get around this by simply playing whatever he felt like (and sod the rest of you) but Total Metal Radio definitely seems to insist on a certain amount of distorted guitar. This obviously includes the likes of Iron Maiden, Metallica, Judas Priest but also picks up on bits of punk, grunge and so on. However, I couldn’t see Led Zeppelin or The Who on their playlist which, whilst not Metal as such, did approach and greatly influence the genre. Then again they have quite a few AC/DC tracks despite them having no fundamental difference to the likes of Little Richard or Chuck Berry other than the Marshall stack.
It did make me wonder what I would play on such a station. I suppose the problem with my tastes in music is that they are very broad and I don’t go in for any major categorisation. The only split in my music collection is classical and everything else and that is simply how I listen to them: classical by composer and everything else by artist. The one element I find with Metal over other genres is that it lends itself to internationalism. Pop music seems to default to the English language but there is no reason why it should do. The Metal genre relies as much on the timbre and harmonics of the vocals as it does on the lyrical content and this may partly explain the worldwide popularity of what, by any standards, can be some extreme music. It also explains the popularity of non-English language acts like Rammstein with Anglo-American audiences otherwise uninterested in non-English singing performers. In fact the language can have a great influence on the sound giving particular sonic niches to Scandinavian metal, Russian metal, Far Eastern and Japanese metal.
Anyway, “Reaperman” is on Sunday afternoons between 15:00-17:00 GMT. I’m certainly going to be listening.
Sunday 24 February 2013
Sunday 17 February 2013
Protosarithmophobia
I am often intrigued by the lists of phobias that have presumably affected someone at some time. They are irrational fears as the fear is out of all proportion to the threat. Arachnophobia, the fear of spiders, is quite common. I do suffer mildly from Agoraphobia (which I find difficult to explain to non-sufferers) but I have yet to find a word for my personal hang-up – jellyfish. I really can’t stand the things and I wouldn’t go anywhere near sea water in case they were hanging around (and I’m pretty sure they do most of the time). I’m actually a lot better over that now as it was the association with water that caused me problems. In a way, fear of jellyfish is not entirely irrational as some jellyfish can sting and some are even dangerous. I suppose the same could be said of spiders but the phobia element is when the fear is present without any genuine threat. However, one thing I do have is a completely irrational dislike of prime numbers.
There is no official name for a fear of prime numbers but I can’t abide the things and I can never fathom why mathematicians get so excited by them – they recently discovered the largest one so far so at least I know that 2^57,885,161 – 1 is a thing to be avoided. The thing is, I find them such awkward, useless blighters. How does one arrange cans neatly when there is a prime number of them? How does one share out a prime number of sweeties? I can cope with the first few: 2, 3 and 5 are reasonable enough and I can put up with 7 on a good day. But how is one expected to cope with 11? Maybe this is why football managers are constantly tinkering with their formations? Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of 13 but can you honestly say that 17, 19 or 23 are any better? 29 is just completely useless. My primary school headmaster used to use this as an example: “Can anyone tell me a number that one can divide 29 by?” That really used to bother me.
The completely irritating thing is that I occasionally find a use for prime numbers professionally. Just this Friday I needed to arrange automated jobs on a computer system to run regularly such that they didn’t overload the server and I was reminded about reading about the breeding cycles of Cicada – a type of insect that breeds in cycles of 13 or 17 years depending on their sub-species, thus avoiding each other. I just scheduled my jobs to run every 2,3,5,7,11 minutes (and so on). It works – but it also looks awful on the scheduler.
So how about a name for this irrational distaste for the prime? How about Protosarithmophobia?
There is no official name for a fear of prime numbers but I can’t abide the things and I can never fathom why mathematicians get so excited by them – they recently discovered the largest one so far so at least I know that 2^57,885,161 – 1 is a thing to be avoided. The thing is, I find them such awkward, useless blighters. How does one arrange cans neatly when there is a prime number of them? How does one share out a prime number of sweeties? I can cope with the first few: 2, 3 and 5 are reasonable enough and I can put up with 7 on a good day. But how is one expected to cope with 11? Maybe this is why football managers are constantly tinkering with their formations? Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of 13 but can you honestly say that 17, 19 or 23 are any better? 29 is just completely useless. My primary school headmaster used to use this as an example: “Can anyone tell me a number that one can divide 29 by?” That really used to bother me.
The completely irritating thing is that I occasionally find a use for prime numbers professionally. Just this Friday I needed to arrange automated jobs on a computer system to run regularly such that they didn’t overload the server and I was reminded about reading about the breeding cycles of Cicada – a type of insect that breeds in cycles of 13 or 17 years depending on their sub-species, thus avoiding each other. I just scheduled my jobs to run every 2,3,5,7,11 minutes (and so on). It works – but it also looks awful on the scheduler.
So how about a name for this irrational distaste for the prime? How about Protosarithmophobia?
Sunday 10 February 2013
Stick that up your Gary Glitter
I’m always quite curious as to how Amazon and other online shopping websites come up with their purchasing suggestions. Some of these are based on previous items that have been bought and others are based upon browsing history. I actually find this quite a useful facility but occasionally the suggestions that are thrown up can be bizarre. Often this will be due to looking up items out of curiosity or sometimes the search engine just getting the wrong end of the stick on certain words (for example, when I tried to find if the 1980s Scottish comedy series Naked Video was available on DVD). However, I was rather taken aback on Friday when Amazon suggested that I may be interested in Gary Glitter's Greatest Hits.
Now, I do have a confession to make about this. I did actually go to a Gary Glitter concert in Cardiff in 1987. This was back in the days when he was an amusing has-been entertainer and not the British media’s kiddie-fiddler-in-chief. I wasn’t a fan but I did have a couple of old Glitter songs knocking about on compilation albums. At that time, Glitter was one of the favourite novelty acts of the student concert circuit and it was at the student union buildings where I saw him.
This was actually a great venue and the attached bar often allowed the performers to mix with their audience – a bonus both for up-and-coming bands and more established acts who fancied something a bit more informal. I once tried to chat up one of the backing singers from The Cross (the side project of Roger Taylor from Queen). I didn’t get very far but I did get a back stage pass. I do remember that I said something a bit crass to Mr Taylor about his set list (I was a big fan of his first solo album) but he seemed perfectly good natured – it was that kind of venue. I did see Glitter briefly before his show but he was arrogantly telling a couple of students to **** off out of the way. The show itself was OK but I decided then that Gary Glitter wasn’t a very nice man.
Anyway, I had a look at some recent purchases and I think I’ve worked out what was behind the suggestion. I was offered a Motörhead compilation which is probably because I had recently bought an album by the German industrial rock act Oomph! I was also offered a Shane McGowan album which was probably because I’d bought a CD by Scottish folk-rock duo The Proclaimers. The Gary Glitter suggestion, I think, was because I bought an album by Slade. It’s a pity that they get lumped together as Slade wrote some fantastic songs. Maybe they should tell Amazon to use the Gary Glitter CD as an enema?
Now, I do have a confession to make about this. I did actually go to a Gary Glitter concert in Cardiff in 1987. This was back in the days when he was an amusing has-been entertainer and not the British media’s kiddie-fiddler-in-chief. I wasn’t a fan but I did have a couple of old Glitter songs knocking about on compilation albums. At that time, Glitter was one of the favourite novelty acts of the student concert circuit and it was at the student union buildings where I saw him.
This was actually a great venue and the attached bar often allowed the performers to mix with their audience – a bonus both for up-and-coming bands and more established acts who fancied something a bit more informal. I once tried to chat up one of the backing singers from The Cross (the side project of Roger Taylor from Queen). I didn’t get very far but I did get a back stage pass. I do remember that I said something a bit crass to Mr Taylor about his set list (I was a big fan of his first solo album) but he seemed perfectly good natured – it was that kind of venue. I did see Glitter briefly before his show but he was arrogantly telling a couple of students to **** off out of the way. The show itself was OK but I decided then that Gary Glitter wasn’t a very nice man.
Anyway, I had a look at some recent purchases and I think I’ve worked out what was behind the suggestion. I was offered a Motörhead compilation which is probably because I had recently bought an album by the German industrial rock act Oomph! I was also offered a Shane McGowan album which was probably because I’d bought a CD by Scottish folk-rock duo The Proclaimers. The Gary Glitter suggestion, I think, was because I bought an album by Slade. It’s a pity that they get lumped together as Slade wrote some fantastic songs. Maybe they should tell Amazon to use the Gary Glitter CD as an enema?
Sunday 3 February 2013
Waitrose
Up until Friday night I had never stepped inside a Waitrose supermarket. This wasn’t though some kind of boycott but simply that I have never had the need to use a supermarket when a Waitrose was nearby. A new one has just been built in the centre of Stirling (next door to the mosque of all places) so we decided to give it a go.
Now, when I say I have never been in a Waitrose it isn’t strictly correct because when I lived in Newcastle I occasionally wandered into the food department at Bainbridges which is part of the John Lewis group. I didn’t often buy much and it tended to be occupied by rich Northumbianites and bemused foreigners (which I suppose included us). However most of the stories I have heard about Waitrose are that it is a tad expensive. I was curious to see if the Stirling shop would be inhabited by thrifty Caledonian stereotypes: Kenny from Grangemouth gasping, “HOW MUCH!” or the couple from Dunblane, keeping up appearances and whispering, “Morag, I believe we may have been a wee bit hasty with our purchases…”
As it was, the shop was inhabited by typically middle-class Stirlingshire people and, aside from the Waitrose branding, is almost entirely indistinguishable from Sainsbury’s - I was rather disappointed. However, the fresh fruit and veg section is rather thorough even if the meat section seems rather sparse aside from the standard beef, lamb, pork and poultry offerings. I was rather hoping that they would have a side of venison on display or grouse hung from the ceiling. What I did like was the cheese section. Initially, I was grumbling about the monoculture of cheddar but then realised that this was merely a single refrigerated cabinet and, in fact, they also stocked a wide collection of other British cheeses along with many of their European counterparts. I could spot the names of many rarities from my fondue recipe book. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the book with me as I would have stocked up on the spot.
Of the few things we bought, I was actually very impressed. Their own brand ginger beer is one of the best I’ve tasted and their grapefruit marmalade is a treat. We weren’t so impressed with their bread – it was nowhere near as good as the stuff from the Polish shop. However, one thing that I did buy was a 200g jar of Carte Noir coffee. It was £4.79 which was nearly £2 less than our local Asda at the moment – so much for Waitrose being expensive. The only thing which did amuse Nina was a packet of German sausage labelled “Extrawurst”. Clearly someone at Waitrose head office didn’t do their homework or maybe this was an in-joke for German customers (tip: stick it in Google translate).
As it was, we still ended up doing the bulk of the week's shop at Lidl. It’s all basic stuff but the quality of the produce is perfectly adequate and they do stock local Scottish produce alongside the German exotica: Waitrose probably source their milk locally as well but I know that if it says Graham’s on the carton that it will be supporting local business one way or another. I also think Lidl have an ace up their sleeve that I can’t believe other supermarkets haven’t followed: placing the bakery next to the front door makes the place smell heavenly. It is also much quieter with just a few bemused Germans wandering around (which I suppose includes us).
Now, when I say I have never been in a Waitrose it isn’t strictly correct because when I lived in Newcastle I occasionally wandered into the food department at Bainbridges which is part of the John Lewis group. I didn’t often buy much and it tended to be occupied by rich Northumbianites and bemused foreigners (which I suppose included us). However most of the stories I have heard about Waitrose are that it is a tad expensive. I was curious to see if the Stirling shop would be inhabited by thrifty Caledonian stereotypes: Kenny from Grangemouth gasping, “HOW MUCH!” or the couple from Dunblane, keeping up appearances and whispering, “Morag, I believe we may have been a wee bit hasty with our purchases…”
As it was, the shop was inhabited by typically middle-class Stirlingshire people and, aside from the Waitrose branding, is almost entirely indistinguishable from Sainsbury’s - I was rather disappointed. However, the fresh fruit and veg section is rather thorough even if the meat section seems rather sparse aside from the standard beef, lamb, pork and poultry offerings. I was rather hoping that they would have a side of venison on display or grouse hung from the ceiling. What I did like was the cheese section. Initially, I was grumbling about the monoculture of cheddar but then realised that this was merely a single refrigerated cabinet and, in fact, they also stocked a wide collection of other British cheeses along with many of their European counterparts. I could spot the names of many rarities from my fondue recipe book. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the book with me as I would have stocked up on the spot.
Of the few things we bought, I was actually very impressed. Their own brand ginger beer is one of the best I’ve tasted and their grapefruit marmalade is a treat. We weren’t so impressed with their bread – it was nowhere near as good as the stuff from the Polish shop. However, one thing that I did buy was a 200g jar of Carte Noir coffee. It was £4.79 which was nearly £2 less than our local Asda at the moment – so much for Waitrose being expensive. The only thing which did amuse Nina was a packet of German sausage labelled “Extrawurst”. Clearly someone at Waitrose head office didn’t do their homework or maybe this was an in-joke for German customers (tip: stick it in Google translate).
As it was, we still ended up doing the bulk of the week's shop at Lidl. It’s all basic stuff but the quality of the produce is perfectly adequate and they do stock local Scottish produce alongside the German exotica: Waitrose probably source their milk locally as well but I know that if it says Graham’s on the carton that it will be supporting local business one way or another. I also think Lidl have an ace up their sleeve that I can’t believe other supermarkets haven’t followed: placing the bakery next to the front door makes the place smell heavenly. It is also much quieter with just a few bemused Germans wandering around (which I suppose includes us).
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