The Longest Mile

“The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft agley” as a popular Ayrshire ditty writer once noted. And such it seems to be in much of life. A great example was last weekend and the annual Memorial Mile: traditionally an idiotically long pub crawl taking in some of the seediest drinking establishments that North Wirral could muster in memory of old friend of mine who made the ultimate sacrifice to dodge out of buying a round.

Overlooking the River Dee to North Wales

Although I’m always up for a session of social frivolity mixed with borderline alcoholism, progressing middle-age maladies combined with increasingly middle-class mortgage arrears tends to count against carefree bacchanalia and the associated after-affects. Something more appropriate is called for and the suggestion was made to go for a long country walk, followed by a pub lunch and a few social beverages at one of the more refined drinking establishments that New Brighton could offer.

My suggestion had been to walk up Moel Famau, the highest hill in Flintshire which, whilst hardly on the scale of Snowdonia, should offer an achievable challenge for a bunch of overweight 40-somethings with varying levels of unfitness. My only concern about this was whether the weather would hold out for us. North Wales can be an unforgivingly sodden place and an afternoon trudging up the side of a hill engulfed by a raincloud is not exactly anyone’s idea of fun. What I hadn’t considered is that it might actually be too sunny for us. After two elite soldiers died in the Brecons of heat exhaustion it was clear that an alternative would have to be found.

Dave and Simon - neither soldiers nor in Australia

As it was, we went for part of the Wirral Way – forgivingly flat as it follows a stretch of a disused railway. Even then it was astonishingly hot with the ground more resembling the Australian Outback than  supposedly lush North-West England. However, we managed two-hours of walking followed by lunch at an Italian restaurant, a few beers, a walk past an impromptu piece of art (a pirate ship made out of driftwood on the Mersey – very impressive) and an evening spent in the beer garden of a local pub. All-in-all a very pleasant evening out.

Pirates Of The Mersey - Things to do with driftwood in New Brighton

As a post script, it must be noted that drinking beer whilst very thirsty is possibly not the good idea that it may seem at the time – as I discovered the next morning when I woke up feeling like I had been lobotomised.