Emoticons

I found another great quotation from Oscar Wilde:

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit

Except I've amended it slightly. Did you see what I did? Yes, I added a smiley, because in this great information age of the Internet NO-ONE GETS BLOODY IRONY! When did this happen? From the great Wilde; through Mark Twain, Virginia Woolf, PG Wodehouse and even to modern writers like Terry Pratchett, I've never seen them have to add an emoticon to get their meaning across and yet, once on the internet, everyone seems to need canned laughter to get the joke.

I've had some great ones lately. I received an emailed response of "Are you serious?" when I suggested that if we get snowed into the office we could eat the managers as no-one would notice the difference. I had howls of protest from a mad cat woman after I suggested that her plan to use environmentally approved earth in her cat's litter tray would be a great way of encouraging it to crap in her neighbour's garden. I even received a quizzical response from a right wing Euro-sceptic after I pointed out that they must be glad Gordon Brown kept us out of the Euro lest our economy be wrecked.

I appreciate a good facetious comment and yet it appears that if they are used by a politician, public figure or even a comedian (I see Frankie Boyle is in trouble again) it is enough to end a career. Well, I've had enough. I'm not going to start using emoticons - the rest of the world can get a sense of humour.