Pointless

Pointless is Jeff Connor's fly on the wall story of his year spent with "Britain's worst football team". Liverpool fans may take note that this was actually written in 2005 and features the exploits of East Stirlingshire Football Club (Falkirk's "other" senior football team) who, by 2005 had been rooted to the foot of the Scottish Football League for a third consecutive year - at one point losing 25 games on the trot. What we have here is a kind of gonzo journalism as Connor follows the team around for the entire 2004/05 season - paying £2,000 for the pleasure.

By 2004 The Shire's misfortunes had gained national and international status. The club had become a joke and the likes of Littlewoods Pools, Loaded magazine and the Daily Record had all jumped on board to mock the afflicted in their own way. Connor admitted that this was his original intention - he freely hoped that he would see them lose every game and end up, literally, pointless. However, as the season progressed, he started rooting for them - cheering on the team when they gained possession, celebrating the rare goal and commiserating with the team when they lost. In short, he was converted - he became a fan. This is just as well, as if he had spent the whole time gloating at their inglorious defeats I don't think it would have made for particularly entertaining reading.

What comes across very well is what motivates the players. They don't want to be rubbish. In fact they would like to do well. The Shire may be at the bottom of the heap of Scottish senior football but it is just that - senior football. Some players are motivated by the fact that if they do well they could move onwards and upwards - maybe even getting to an SPL team. Others will never rise higher than the Scottish Third Division but at least they can say that they do play professional league football - well, at least, senior league football as the players are on £10 per week wages which would just about cover their bus fares if they were lucky. However, his portrayal of Falkirk and some of the other teams' home towns is not exactly flattering. I suppose the "it's grim up North" characterisation works well in a poetic licence sort of way.

What doesn't come across so well is what motivates the fans. East Stirlingshire have never achieved much and the nearest to a glamorous past they had was having Alex Fergusson as manager for a short while. He moved on to bigger and better things with St Mirren before winding up at some American owned cowboy outfit. He doesn't really investigate why they would want to follow The Shire rather than their more glamorous neighbours Falkirk (Yes, I know that last sentence looks weird). I suppose that they are motivated by the same reasons as any fan. I have been fortunate to have a very successful team as my "local team" before now and also have had my local team as a bunch of part timers. However, it is rather nice to know my postie also plays for the town on a Saturday afternoon. Whether it's obsession or sheer bloody mindedness there is something addictive about supporting a football team. In the case of Shire fans, I suppose it must be extreme optimism.

The Shire did improve and even made the Division Three playoffs this year. They now ground-share with Stenhousemuir so I suppose they are now my local club.