Football Films

The first week of the World Cup has been a bit of an anticlimax. Apart from Germany smashing Australia to bits, the two Koreas have been good value for money - particularly the North's game against Brazil. There have many comical and even farcical errors - the first Dutch goal against the Danes being a case in point. So far,the one big upset was the last of the first group matches as Spain lost to Switzerland although I missed most of that as I had to get the dog back from the vet's after his X-Ray - surely for a whippet they could just shine an arc lamp through him?

I did wonder whether the TV would be showing football themed films but they appear to be very sparse - I suppose football is not everyone's cup of tea so a movie alternative is fair enough. When the public are asked for their favourite football films, Escape to Victory always seems to come top. I don't know why as it's a blooming awful film - Sylvester Stallone, Michael Caine and Max von Sydow all looked vaguely bemused by the preposterous story. Then again, it is the supporting cast included Pelé, Bobby Moore and Ossie Ardiles which everyone remembers. Personally my favourite footy films (in no particular order) are:

Bend it like Beckham - This was a bit of a surprise when we saw it. It's a very low budget British film with Parminder Nagra, as a football mad British Sikh girl, torn between her family, who want her to study medicine, and a tom-boyish Kiera Knightly, who introduces her to the possibility of a career in football. It's a little corny in places but highly enjoyable with good comic turns from half the cast of Goodness Gracious Me.

Mike Bassett : England Manager - Ricky Tomlinson is more of a character than an actor but he is priceless in this satire of pretty much every inept English football manager you could imagine. It's a mocumentary in the Spinal Tap vein but this pretty much sums up the hype over reality of the whole England football set-up.

Gregory's Girl - This film almost makes Cumbernauld look habitable. John Gordon Sinclair starred as an awkward teenager lusting after the very talented and very attractive Dee Hepburn. I bumped into him a couple of years ago on a plane between Edinburgh and London. He was with his wife and young baby which was great as everyone gave him daggers rather than me and my noisy kids.

The Miracle of Bern (Das Wunder von Bern) - This German film is the story of an unfancied West Germany winning the World Cup in 1954 after getting stuffed by Hungary 8-3 in the group stages; but it is also the story of ordinary German people picking themselves up after the austerity of the post-war years. It's very touching and well worth catching if it's on.

The World Cup: A Captain's Tale - I think this was actually a TV movie but it starred Dennis Waterman as a West Auckland miner whose team represented England at the Sir Thomas Lipton Trophy, the unofficial World Cup in 1909 and 1911; against the likes of Juventus, FC Zürich , Stuttgart and FC Torino. They were so poor they had to abbreviate their name to WA on the acceptance telegram - so they organisers thought they were getting Woolwich Arsenal. Incredibly, they won the trophy twice. It's been years since this was on TV and it's well worth a repeat.