Monday, 28 June 2010

Shoot the Dog

For some reason, I seem to be the only person in Britain who wasn't surprised by how easily Germany beat England. Did anyone else actually watch these teams' previous games? Having said that, even I was amazed at how inept England were. I couldn't believe how quickly the saucer-eyed Özil sped past the England defenders. There is some talk about how things could have been different if Lampard's "goal" had been allowed. Yes, Germany would have won 4-2 instead. I can only assume that the referee was looking up at row Z expecting Lampard's shot to end there like all his other attempts.

The response to this from the media seems to be to sack Capello - like a farmer shooting the dog because the sheep starved to death. What this will achieve, I don't know. Was he any worse than McClaren, Eriksson, Keegan, Mike Bassett et al. That England team was actually the best they can do. There are just not enough youngsters coming through. Any that do play football are probably doing it on an X-box and the FA just don't care. If England are ever going to achieve anything in World football they are going to have to start at the roots. Get the kids playing and get the keen ones to the kind of football summer camps that Bobby Charlton has tried to run in the past. Get the players into the club sides and make sure that they get first team experience. This isn't going to happen and by the time they are scraping to a 2-1 away win against Narnia in Euro 2012 qualification it will all be forgotten as the next "Golden Generation" will be tipped to win the European Championship, World Cup and Nobel peace prize.

Anyway, my wife is delighted and I'm actually looking forward to a bit of a contest in the Germany-Argentina game.

Sunday, 27 June 2010

The Big Bang

When I started out this blog back in January, one of my first postings was my delight that the BBC had chosen to show the Doctor Who regeneration episode on Raymond's eighth birthday. The BBC have done it again by managing to show the series finale on the first day of the school holidays. Admittedly, this does mean that some children will have flown off to far flung reaches already and will not see it until they are back but we aren't going anywhere until Monday so it was a cracking start to the school holidays. The big question is, did it make any sense?

Having thought about it, it does seem to have it's own internal consistency even if I am going to have to watch the episode again to make sure. In fact, I think I'm going to have to watch the whole series again (this is likely to be in about 3 weeks time knowing how short of scheduling BBC THREE gets). Raymond loved it although, given that it is his first day of his summer holidays and he is now allowed to stay up late to watch the football to the bitter end, I think he would have loved anything. Nina found the whole thing rather befuddling but then she was confused by the Star Trek film even though she enjoyed it.

I have noticed with this series that the two-part stories have really been separate episodes with a linking theme rather than one entire story and this one was no exception. We were sent right back to the beginning of the series with little Amelia finding her way to the Pandorica to open it and reveal - well, not what I was expecting for a start. We then have the Doctor jumping across time trying to put everything into place before the big fix at the end - and then that old Sci-Fi favourite - the reboot. I'm not that fussed about that as a plot device - it always feels like a cheat but at least here we had the full consequences of the plot played through and earlier episodes were cleverly tied in so at least I didn't feel like we had been cheated.

The one big thing that had intrigued me with this series is how it would compare to those of previous writer Russell T Davies. In terms of feeling like a satisfying whole it is at least up there with series 2, David Tennant's first, and even then it felt more consistent - only the Dalek episode early on felt a little below par. For me, where Steven Moffat wins is his gauge of the family audience he is meant to be aiming at. I think Russell T Davies is one of the best writers for an adult audience on TV and two of his previous works - Second Coming and Torchwood : Children of Earth would rate with me as amongst the very best Sci Fi dramas of the last 10 years. However, neither of those works are suitable for a younger audience and his work for Doctor Who always struck me as either a bit juvenile or utterly brilliant - but not really something that I'd want the kids to watch with us. Steven Moffat wins with this every time as the stories are fantastically well constructed and intelligent but they never stray into 15-certificate territory. Maybe Raymond is a bit older now but this is the first series that I've felt very confident to let him watch the episodes as they are broadcast rather than doing a little parental censoring before hand.

I've noticed a few negative comments about the current series on various Sci-Fi forums. I tend to put this down to habitual malcontents who would rather write TV drama according to their own warped conspiracy theories. I think this is why the first rule of TV drama should be: Never produce fan-fiction. But for me this series has been what I had always hoped Doctor Who could be - bring on Christmas!

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Kaiser Franz has a point

With the group stages drawing to a close I've still rather mixed feelings over this World Cup. The games have definitely improved and it's been the South Americans, Argentina in particular, that have given the best entertainment so far. Germany have played well - even in the game against Serbia it was more a case of everything going wrong rather than playing poorly as such. However, England have been dreadful. The game against Algeria must rate as one of the most tedious I've seen but they did play well against Slovenia for about 60 minutes. The first 15 minutes looked edgy and they looked pretty desperate after Rooney went off - although whilst he was on the pitch he looked every inch the world class player he is. However, it took a goalkeeping fumble to win the game and Terry's impression of a discombobulated Subbuteo player was pretty indicative of the passion over quality that most of the team displayed.

Anyway, England have qualified for the last 16 but in failing to finish top of their group they have blown what must have been the peachiest draw for a major finals in their history. Now, they most likely face a tough run of matches with Argentina, Brazil and Spain likely to be their opponents if, and it's a very big if, they can get past Germany in the last 16. The English based press have gone mental over this and, as well as predicting a world cup win, are trying to regurgitate two world wars as well. The Daily Mash sums up this reporting nicely. Even the coverage of the Ghana-Germany match on ITV has been too much and we ended up switching over to Das Erste to watch the game in peace. One of my colleagues watched the ITV coverage and said it made the most frothing-at-the-mouth Tartan Army stalwart's attitude to England look decidedly chummy. Funny how that double standard works considering the Daily Mail got hot under the collar when it emerged that half of Scotland couldn't give two hoots how England did.

The latest thing that the press are getting into a lather about is comments made by Franz Beckenbauer regarding the England team. Contrary to what has been printed in the press in Blighty, Der Kaiser hasn't been standing outside the Ing-ur-land team hotel shouting "Come and have a go if you think your hard enough" but has actually been giving his views as a TV pundit. In fact, overall, he has had some sympathy for the team and manager. He described their style of play as "kick and run". From what I've seen it's been "hoof it and hope" as very few long balls seem to have found a player in an England shirt. The rest of his comments would ring true to any but the most rose tinted fan: There are too many overseas players in the English leagues; not enough young players are given opportunities; they play far too many games in the season; they haven't had enough practice with the ball. I can't see that any of this is a criticism of the England team - but it's a pretty damning indictment of the FA and their obsession with money over football.

Based on the first three matches of this competition I would say England don't stand a chance against Germany on Sunday. They do, however, have one trick left up their sleeve. Sheer bloody mindedness. Beckenbauer rightly noted that "Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and John Terry sense that this could be the last chance in their career to win a World Cup" and that in Capello they do have a coach who is capable of disciplining them into a coherent unit. They could pull off a result on Sunday. If they do, I can't honestly see them getting any further but they will have salvaged personal and national pride. If they do lose at least I'll have some harmony in my household.

Sunday, 20 June 2010

The Pandorica Opens

OK, so how do you top that? Since the return of Doctor Who the series finales have always come as an anti-climax after hugely intriguing and complex build up. I think the one exception to that was the Doomsday episode in series 2 in which a slow but clever build-up in the preceding episode had a wonderful climax and satisfying conclusion at the series end. Aside from that, I felt that Russell T Davies was very good at building up a big story without having any idea how he would resolve it. I wondered how Steven Moffat would tackle this and the answer is that he has upped the ante even further.

I needed a good bit of entertainment after the drawn-out torture of watching England "play" Algeria on Friday night. The Pandorica Opens delivered that in buckets but it is also notable how cleverly the various threads from the earlier episodes were drawn together - even before the opening credits. I have a feeling that Steven Moffat has read a lot of the same Sci Fi novels as I have as I could spot lots of Philip K Dick references as well as nods to Douglas Adams and the Star Wars and Indiana Jones films. He also managed to make a Cyberman some kind of credible threat - something that they haven't been in the new series, especially considering they scared me witless as a kid.

I think another element that must be making Russell T Davies consumed by envy is how many monsters and aliens they managed to get in one room at one time. Daleks, Cybermen, Silurians, Sycorax, Autons... talk about an unholy alliance and a rather fan-boyish moment as well. I bet you thought the Conservative-Liberal alliance was pushing the limits. But the cliff-hanger must be one of the most extreme ever. How do you get out of that - there are no clues either as there was, thankfully, no "Next Time" trailer.

I've always enjoyed Steven Moffat's writing. His episodes of Coupling were fantastically constructed, often with the big reveal on the very last line of dialogue, and even Jekyll, which I thought a bit ponderous at times, had a really satisfying ending that made the whole thing worth while. I have no idea how he is going to tie up this series of Doctor Who but I can't wait to find out.

Saturday, 19 June 2010

We are the Robots

This story on the news made me prick up my ears. Larbert is largely unknown to anyone outside of Scotland (outside Stirlingshire, even) although if I was to mention Stenhousemuir, the Eastern part of the village, it will gain a flicker of acknowledgement from many. That's right, we are number 48 on the pools coupon. Anyway, the new super-duper Forth Valley Hospital has been under construction in Larbert for the last few years and is nearing completion. It appears that the town, which was previously known for a couple of psychiatric units and a toffee factory will be entering the space age - our new hospital will be run by robots!

On closer inspection it is a little more tame than that and the robots will be carrying out less demanding tasks than those I worked on in factories 20 years ago (my original IT training was in CNC programming - the tedious end of cybernetics). However, this does seem to be a progression. I'm guessing that the menial tasks carried out by the hospital robots could be carried out more cheaply by human staff, so I expect that the logic behind them is a quality control issue.

I'm just wondering how long it will be until we see robots used on the higher end of medical care. Robot surgeons have been used in conjunction with human consultants for various fiddly tasks - brain surgery really is more complicated than rocket science. And I could see some advantages in some nursing tasks being automated - leaving the nurses more time to carry out the more humane side of their job.

I think there are limits to what robots can do. Using robots in an industrial environment is fine. Advertising men like to think the "made by hand" tag gives a nice, homely, cottage-industry feel to items, but actually I want my manufactured items made properly by robots. However, part of the service given by medical staff is the human interaction - being able to speak to a doctor or a nurse rather than to deal with a computer or machine. This is part of the reason alternative medicine proves popular. It's not that it works (controlled studies show that it doesn't) but the patient is awarded far more personal time with the practitioner than with an overworked NHS doctor or nurse.
However, if I have to go to Larbert hospital and the matron looks like this, I'm leaving!

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Football Films

The first week of the World Cup has been a bit of an anticlimax. Apart from Germany smashing Australia to bits, the two Koreas have been good value for money - particularly the North's game against Brazil. There have many comical and even farcical errors - the first Dutch goal against the Danes being a case in point. So far,the one big upset was the last of the first group matches as Spain lost to Switzerland although I missed most of that as I had to get the dog back from the vet's after his X-Ray - surely for a whippet they could just shine an arc lamp through him?

I did wonder whether the TV would be showing football themed films but they appear to be very sparse - I suppose football is not everyone's cup of tea so a movie alternative is fair enough. When the public are asked for their favourite football films, Escape to Victory always seems to come top. I don't know why as it's a blooming awful film - Sylvester Stallone, Michael Caine and Max von Sydow all looked vaguely bemused by the preposterous story. Then again, it is the supporting cast included Pelé, Bobby Moore and Ossie Ardiles which everyone remembers. Personally my favourite footy films (in no particular order) are:

Bend it like Beckham - This was a bit of a surprise when we saw it. It's a very low budget British film with Parminder Nagra, as a football mad British Sikh girl, torn between her family, who want her to study medicine, and a tom-boyish Kiera Knightly, who introduces her to the possibility of a career in football. It's a little corny in places but highly enjoyable with good comic turns from half the cast of Goodness Gracious Me.

Mike Bassett : England Manager - Ricky Tomlinson is more of a character than an actor but he is priceless in this satire of pretty much every inept English football manager you could imagine. It's a mocumentary in the Spinal Tap vein but this pretty much sums up the hype over reality of the whole England football set-up.

Gregory's Girl - This film almost makes Cumbernauld look habitable. John Gordon Sinclair starred as an awkward teenager lusting after the very talented and very attractive Dee Hepburn. I bumped into him a couple of years ago on a plane between Edinburgh and London. He was with his wife and young baby which was great as everyone gave him daggers rather than me and my noisy kids.

The Miracle of Bern (Das Wunder von Bern) - This German film is the story of an unfancied West Germany winning the World Cup in 1954 after getting stuffed by Hungary 8-3 in the group stages; but it is also the story of ordinary German people picking themselves up after the austerity of the post-war years. It's very touching and well worth catching if it's on.

The World Cup: A Captain's Tale - I think this was actually a TV movie but it starred Dennis Waterman as a West Auckland miner whose team represented England at the Sir Thomas Lipton Trophy, the unofficial World Cup in 1909 and 1911; against the likes of Juventus, FC Zürich , Stuttgart and FC Torino. They were so poor they had to abbreviate their name to WA on the acceptance telegram - so they organisers thought they were getting Woolwich Arsenal. Incredibly, they won the trophy twice. It's been years since this was on TV and it's well worth a repeat.

Sunday, 13 June 2010

World Cup - The First Weekend

I missed the first match of the World Cup. I had a dental appointment in Glasgow and had planned to catch the second half of the match in a pub before visiting the Marathon Man. Unfortunately, it took me nearly two hours to travel the 30 miles down the M8 from Livingston. What a stupid place to stick a car park. Anyway, we settled down in the evening to watch the France vs. Uruguay match as a start to our World Cup proper.

The first thing that struck me was the noise. The Vuvuzelas appear to be a major feature of this World Cup and they are certainly dividing opinion. The name comes from a Zulu word meaning "a swarm of bees", or something, and at first I thought there was something wrong with our TV. Part of the emotional attachment to a game of football comes from the ebbing and flowing of the massed crowds - if you have ever watched a game with only a couple of hundred fans it can be an odd experience - however the accumulated noise of the Vuvuzela completely drowns this out. On the other hand, they do give the games a distinctly African flavour compared to the usual European games and it is their World Cup after all.

The noise actually reminded me of an early 1970's Tangerine Dream album, Zeit, in which a cello quartet merges into the electronic drone of the German's sequencers and synthesisers - pretty nothing much else happens for 80 minutes and then the album finishes. In the France vs. Uruguay game this is where it actually picked up as a Uruguay player was sent off for a rather nasty foul and the French burst into some sort of life for the last 10 minutes.

To make things a bit more interesting we had bought in some French beer but, as I had what would be classed as a "bastard hot curry" before the game, I couldn't really taste much. I suppose we should have had some French food as well or, at least, found out what the Uruguayan national dish is but, even after I regained my sense of taste, the beer really didn't taste of much. We opened a bottle of Chardonnay afterwards and that was much better. The French should really stick with what they do best and, in sporting terms, I think this is rugby at the moment. In the morning I noticed that a French friend had sent a text with "Allez les bleus" - they will have to improve on this nil-nil display if they are going to progress.

England vs. USA on Saturday night is the first match that the über-hype has been aimed at. I've actually missed the hyperbole one way and another and even missed the pre-match build up as we were watching Doctor Who on the other side. The beer was easy enough to sort out - a token bottle of American Budweiser which tasted like pish and several bottles of English Real Ale. Half the fun of Real Ale is the names given to the concoctions - with titles along the style of Hell Bastard, Doctor Atomic's Brain Rot or Vicars Arse (I've made these up but they may well exist). However, Nina was also of the opinion that it tasted like Vicar's Arse.

I was unaware, at the time, of the first major talking point of this match. ITV HD screwed up and stuck an advert on when the first goal happened. This is pretty typical for ITV although on the standard Freeview channel (at least STV) this didn't happen. The goal itself was pretty neat but it was clear that the USA were half asleep and after 20 minutes or so it was also clear that this would be no walkover. I also started to appreciate the Vuvuzelas as they drowned out that bloody awful trombone band playing "The Great Escape" and also took my mind off the mindless witterings of the commentators - they were nothing like Motson for irritation factor but they really don't get the concept of TV commentary which is that I can actually see the game on the TV - as long as it isn't in HD.

The second major talking point was the Robert Green goal. In fact it wasn't his goal but it just shows what the game will be remembered for. You have to feel for the lad and, in spite of what the media were saying, it wasn't the worst error by an England goalie. I can recall how inept Ray Clemence could be even though he was a basically sound keeper. In fact, that aside, Green had a great game and I'd be more bothered about why some of the outfield players seemed so asleep - Rooney especially so. Anyway, 1-1 was a fair enough result but this World Cup feels much more ponderous than the last Euro Championships. Whether this is the stadia, climate, the Vuvuzelas or pressure for the teams to perform I suspect that we will see lots of penalty shootouts in the later stages.

Sunday night gave us Germany vs. Australia and the choice of some of the finest beer in the world with an obligatory can of Fosters to cover the antipodean side of the fixture - half of which ended up inside the dog who proceeded to sleep through the game, farting mercilessly. By this point, I started to become irritated by the English commentary teams. I tried to switch over to the German coverage but found that the sound on ZDF had an odd echo effect - so it's not just ITV who mess up.

After England's and Algeria's ineptly conceded goals, Germany have had goalkeeping problems of their own with Adler out through injury and also with the tragic death of Robert Enke. They've gone with Manuel Neuer who I know very little about other than he plays for Schalke and is a highly rated young keeper. In fact they have several players who I know little of so I was wondering how well they would do in this game.

I needn't have worried. Germany were magnificent and gave the first real all-out entertaining game of the tournament. However, I think the Australians had a somewhat ropey understanding of the rules. In fact, many of them appeared to be playing Aussie rules judging by the brutality of the tackling. Moore should have been charged with assault but it was actually Tim Cahill who was sent off for a fairly innocuous tackle - presumably the referee had had enough by then. In fact the standard of refereeing so far has been a real plus point. This game was no exception and aside from the Australian brutality he booked two German players for "simulation" - i.e. diving. Few referees seem to do this and it certainly had an effect as the first player to be booked, Mesut Özil, went on to have a stunner of a game.

So that's the first 3 days. Overall I'd say it hasn't quite lived up to expectations with the exception of the German game but things may start to pick up. The evening games for most of this week don't really appeal to me but there are the first games for The Netherlands and Spain which I will try to catch at work. Fortunately, my employers are quite co-operative over this as they are major sports sponsors and even devise the fixtures for the English and Scottish leagues.

The Lodger

Another busy night of couch potatoary last night. Doctor Who with the England vs. USA match on ITV straight after. I'll post my initial musings on the World Cup after the Germany vs. Australia match tonight but, first of all, there is the matter of this week's outing with the chap in the blue box.

Last night's episode saw The Doctor trying to pass himself of as human whilst investigating the shenanigans going on upstairs at James Corden's flat. This leads to various comic capers, in stark contrast to the dark and somewhat melancholy episodes that we have seen in current weeks. Overall, it's a very slight and light episode but provides a nice set up for the series finale at the end whilst raising a few smiles on the way.

I wasn't entirely sure about James Corden being the guest star. I enjoyed Gavin and Stacey which Corden both wrote and stared in but I find he is becoming somewhat ubiquitous - he was also on ITV after the football - and he seems to keep playing the same character which, I am guessing, is largely himself. He even manages a blokey game of football with The Doctor. Now, James Corden makes me look like Lionel Messi on the fitness front, but the Doctor turns out to be pretty good at the footy - apparently, Matt Smith was on the books at Nottingham Forest before turning to this acting lark so there wasn't even much in the way of CGI trickery. There was very little of Amy this week as she was stuck on the TARDIS but as a bonus we had Daisy Haggard as Corden's pal/would-be-girlfriend. She has been in all sorts of comedy roles like Man Stroke Woman and Psychoville so it was nice to see her in a straight-ish acting role for a change.

I'm curious to see how the ratings for this episode turn out. With the England match on the other side straight afterwards and the increasing advent of PVRs I suspect that many will watch the show at a later time. Certainly, this is something we have had to do given that the starting time is often right when we are trying to get the little two off to bed. The overnight ratings were 4.6 million (i.e. that many watched it whilst it was on). The series average is between 7-8 million so it will be interesting to see how many will watch it recorded. Sky+ and Freeview PVR sales have been huge and I'm intrigued to see just what impact this is having on viewing habits. Maybe, in a couple of years time, major sporting events will be the only thing watched live.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

World Cup 2010

It is the eve of the World Cup and I'm finally starting to get into the swing of things. The wallchart is up, the fridge is well stocked with German beer and the remote control for the TV is well and truly hidden. In fact, the last bit is actually an over-statement as my wife actually enjoys the big football tournaments. In part, this is because she is German and Germany gets to the final more often than not; but also she finds that there is more point to the big events. There is a beginning, a middle and an end; there are very few dead-rubber matches; and qualification for the team has nothing to do with the fattest chequebook and everything to do with being the best player in your own country.

However, Scotland haven't qualified - again. In the 70's and 80's, Scottish qualification was a formality but it is now 12 years since Scotland last played at a major finals. In fact, I had the afternoon off work to watch it. The opening game of France 1998 was Brazil vs. Scotland and, rather than have a somewhat drunken workforce crawling back to the office and causing mayhem, my employers sent us off early (I think the bosses wanted to watch in peace as well). The game I remember most fondly of that competition was Scotland vs. Norway. I had told my wife that I would watch the game with a few workmates. We all went down to a pub on Sauchiehall Street to watch it on a big screen. The game ended 1-1 but we had such a great time that we went on to a restaurant afterwards and, spirits being high, found our way into several bars on a slow trek back to Queen Street station. I arrived home just before midnight to find my wife waiting for me at the station. I thought this was rather nice of her but it turned out that she had locked herself out of the house. My God, she was livid!

But Scotland aren't there and it leaves the vexed question for many in Scotland as to who to support. Those with family connections find it easy enough to attach themselves to another team. Italian-Scots will happily follow the Azzurri and as I work for an international company there are plenty of French and Dutch fans around the office. As a family we have obvious links to Germany, England and the United States and, pushing a little further, France, New Zealand and Australia. Some of the other Scots around the office at least take comfort that they can just sit back and "enjoy the football".

However, it's nice to cheer on a particular side and many will go for one of the following:

a) The national side of your favourite club players.
b) The "diddies" - a small and unlikely nation who have qualified.
c) A country with an attractive style of football.
d) Whoever happens to be playing England.

In the last World Cup there was a runaway favourite for Scots: Trinidad and Tobago. They had many members of their squad based in Scotland - and not just at the big clubs but smaller outfits like Falkirk and St Johnstone who would rarely, if ever, have had a player at the World Cup finals. They even had a player called Jason Scotland - so we could say that Scotland was at the World Cup finals. Trinidad and Tobago were also the embodiment of diddiness when it came to World Football - short of the Faeroe Islands qualifying. The fact that they were drawn in England's group was neither here nor there - well, maybe to some.

This time, it's not so clear-cut. The obvious diddies are New Zealand but there are few qualifying internationals playing in Scotland to make a particular case for any one team, although, for the style of play, Portugal and The Netherlands seem popular with my workmates. Then there is whoever is playing England. Very few of my friends seem to have any time for this. It's old. It's boring. It's last year's catchphrase, done to death and stripped of any ironic value it had left. Moreover, there doesn't seem to be that much expectation of how well England will do in the papers. There is hope, certainly, but there isn't that sense of entitlement in the national media that really rubs up Scotland fans the wrong way. And as one of my friends said, why would he cheer on Wayne Rooney or Frank Lampard in EPL and Champions' League games and then wish them misfortune in the biggest games of their careers? For that matter, why would you not want good fortune for players as likeable as Peter Crouch or David James? Maybe this will change when the media goes into full-on jingoism mode?

Anyway, I've filled out the World Cup predictor competition at work and I was quite surprised at who I thought would do well. I have Spain beating Brazil in the final but the 3rd/4th play-off will have Germany beating England on penalties. I'm quite surprised at that as I don't regard either of these two as being particularly strong but, if teams go to form, England have a remarkably fortunate draw until they get to Brazil in the semis. Anyway, we'll be supporting Germany and England (which makes this weekend's evening entertainment a bonus) and I will be keeping an eye out for Spain and The Netherlands who I found hugely entertaining at Euro 2008. I'll just make sure that my wife remembers her keys.

Monday, 7 June 2010

Pointless

Pointless is Jeff Connor's fly on the wall story of his year spent with "Britain's worst football team". Liverpool fans may take note that this was actually written in 2005 and features the exploits of East Stirlingshire Football Club (Falkirk's "other" senior football team) who, by 2005 had been rooted to the foot of the Scottish Football League for a third consecutive year - at one point losing 25 games on the trot. What we have here is a kind of gonzo journalism as Connor follows the team around for the entire 2004/05 season - paying £2,000 for the pleasure.

By 2004 The Shire's misfortunes had gained national and international status. The club had become a joke and the likes of Littlewoods Pools, Loaded magazine and the Daily Record had all jumped on board to mock the afflicted in their own way. Connor admitted that this was his original intention - he freely hoped that he would see them lose every game and end up, literally, pointless. However, as the season progressed, he started rooting for them - cheering on the team when they gained possession, celebrating the rare goal and commiserating with the team when they lost. In short, he was converted - he became a fan. This is just as well, as if he had spent the whole time gloating at their inglorious defeats I don't think it would have made for particularly entertaining reading.

What comes across very well is what motivates the players. They don't want to be rubbish. In fact they would like to do well. The Shire may be at the bottom of the heap of Scottish senior football but it is just that - senior football. Some players are motivated by the fact that if they do well they could move onwards and upwards - maybe even getting to an SPL team. Others will never rise higher than the Scottish Third Division but at least they can say that they do play professional league football - well, at least, senior league football as the players are on £10 per week wages which would just about cover their bus fares if they were lucky. However, his portrayal of Falkirk and some of the other teams' home towns is not exactly flattering. I suppose the "it's grim up North" characterisation works well in a poetic licence sort of way.

What doesn't come across so well is what motivates the fans. East Stirlingshire have never achieved much and the nearest to a glamorous past they had was having Alex Fergusson as manager for a short while. He moved on to bigger and better things with St Mirren before winding up at some American owned cowboy outfit. He doesn't really investigate why they would want to follow The Shire rather than their more glamorous neighbours Falkirk (Yes, I know that last sentence looks weird). I suppose that they are motivated by the same reasons as any fan. I have been fortunate to have a very successful team as my "local team" before now and also have had my local team as a bunch of part timers. However, it is rather nice to know my postie also plays for the town on a Saturday afternoon. Whether it's obsession or sheer bloody mindedness there is something addictive about supporting a football team. In the case of Shire fans, I suppose it must be extreme optimism.

The Shire did improve and even made the Division Three playoffs this year. They now ground-share with Stenhousemuir so I suppose they are now my local club.

Sunday, 6 June 2010

Vincent and the Doctor

In the early days of Doctor Who the stories would alternate between a Sci Fi adventure one week and a historical adventure with almost no Sci Fi elements the week after. Hence we would go from a time machine, to cavemen, to Daleks, to Marco Polo and so on. Last nights episode was almost a return to this entirely historical basis as we are taken to see Vincent van Gogh, troubled by a monster which may as well have been called a MacGuffin for all the thought that had gone into it, and the story is actually that of the painter and his struggle with depression.

The monster was actually invisible (which saved the BBC a bit on the effects budget) and could only be seen by Vincent but it could easily be seen as a metaphor for van Gogh's bi-polar condition. In fact the episode portrayed that very well and the fact that the Doctor could do little to slay van Gogh's demons was really quite poignant. This was always going to be a difficult subject to cover in tea-time family TV but I really think Richard Curtis made a great stab at it. The point of depression is that, for the sufferer, it is physical. Just because it can't be seen by others doesn't mean that it is not very real and tangible for the sufferer. It takes on physical form and can be seen as a descending shadowy form. Amy is disconsolate when she discovers that their intervention has had little effect on Vincent's outcome but there is a nod that they did make a difference to him on the day. Very sentimental but rather nice all the same.

Now, I have to admit I have never been a great fan of van Gogh's work but I though the designers at the BBC had done an astonishing job with the set dressing. Scene after scene would burst to life straight from one of van Gogh's famous works. As a bit of educational TV it must have done the trick as I was showing Raymond the pictures from an art album I have. The acting was also spot on with the one exception - they didn't seem to have a standard pronunciation of the name "van Gogh". Now, the Dutch is pretty hard for most English speakers unless they want to end up sounding Scouse, but Matt Smith varied between "van Goth" and "van Goff" which sounded rather Eastenders and completely out of character. Karen Gillen and Tony Curran (spot on as Vincent) were more consistent but even Bill Nighy as an art critic seemed all over the show. It's a minor point but an irritation none the less.

Anyway, as the end credit's rolled we were informed that a website had been set up for those who had been affected by the issues in the show. It wasn't entirely clear if this was for those with mental health problems or those poor flowers in Southern England who couldn't cope with two ginger Scottish actors on the TV at once. I think we should be told.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Look Back in Hunger

Jo Brand is rather misunderstood as a comedian. She often gets labelled as a man-hating lesbian ranting on about periods whereas she actually rather likes men ("at least in principle") and claims to have only ever done 10 minutes about the "painters and decorators" - a euphemism she claims to despise. I've always rather enjoyed her brand of self deprecatory humour and somewhat left-field (and often left-wing) observations on the predicament of the modern woman. Look back in Hunger is her autobiography and, one would assume, is intended as a first volume as it really only covers the period in her life until she decided to become a professional comic.

I enjoyed the book, I have to admit, as it's witty and light reading but I couldn't help but think it was a bit shallow. It really came across as a biography rather than an autobiography, but I can't imagine that she would use a ghost writer as she is an author in her own right (or is that write?). However, most of the early chapters give largely biographical details of where she lived and went to school without the depth of feeling and introspection one would expect from a self-penned tome and nothing of deeply felt self-analysis in Stephen Fry's autobiography.

The one part that I did find very interesting was her time spent as a psychiatric nurse, which included a spell at the old Bethlem Royal Hospital - the original Bedlam. Here we did coax a bit more opinion out of Ms Brand particularly relating to the more controversial areas of psychiatric care, such as ECT. She presented a programme for the BBC on the history of psychiatric care a few years back and I can't help but think that an entire book on this part of her life may have been more interesting. The book closes with her first forays into the comedy circuit.

I've put rather a downer on this but, as I said, I did enjoy this - I just would have liked a little more.