Virtually A Shed

It is the fate of men of a certain age that they increasingly find themselves hidden away in the dark retreat that is the garden shed. Perhaps it is rather ironic that many of these men will toil away night and day spending thousands of pounds purchasing a renovating a bricks and mortar family abode only to find themselves banished to a bleak and unforgiving wooden outhouse but for many it offers a sanctuary from the rest of the world – a place of peace and quiet, contemplation and power tools.

We don’t actually have a shed as such. We have a garage which has never seen sight of a motor vehicle and it does get used on occasion for DIY purposes. I’ve recently had the roof replaced so it no longer leaks but the actual space is not the most welcoming – cold, usually a bit dark and with only the spiders for company. However, I do have a private space which serves as my own personal retreat: my home office. A virtual shed, if you like.

The office is actually a box bedroom. We were told (by the estate agent) that the previous family had used it as a bedroom but I’m struggling to see how they could fit anyone in as it is only a shade over 2 metres long by about 1.8 wide with a sloping roof. Having said that, a modern house developer would describe that as a “generous sized double bedroom”. In fact they could probably stick a shower curtain in the corner and describe it as “on suite”. For me, the room is filled with computers, printers and various other tech and can occasionally also house the odd musical instrument. I also have a huge pair of studio type headphones that serve the dual purpose of piping loud music and drowning out noisy kids. If I ever need to get away from things, that’s my place of choice.

The odd thing is that, of all the rooms in the house, this is the one that I have yet to do the slightest bit of redecorating in. It is still painted in a revolting orange colour and the woodchip on the sloping roof has come away due to damp – probably as there is practically no insulation at all – on the other side of the plaster is a 15cm gap and then slate from the roof. Aside from that the desk space is a mass of wires with documents, folders and unsorted paperwork lying about in a random fashion - not to mention the boxes of disused electrical equipment and long defunct software media.

I’m now planning on something of a makeover – probably starting with sorting out the insulation and also having an audit of the amount of tech that I have lying about. My desktop computer is pretty much at the end of it’s useful life (at least the Windows XP operating system is) and the boxes of junk and paperwork need sorting out once and for all. With a bit of effort I should be able to make a perfect environment:  a virtual shed – without the spiders, of course.