Cold Blood

For what is generally such a cheery and upbeat show, I think Cold Blood must have to rate as one of the most depressing episodes since Doctor Who returned. Not that it wasn't good in it's own way but I was rather glad to be watching the nonsense that is Eurovision straight afterwards. I also felt that the tone of the show was rather more adult orientated as well. The scenes with the vivisection on the humans were tamed down to family viewing levels but I did think it was scraping it as teatime entertainment.

I have noticed that this series of Doctor Who has been borrowing freely from other Science Fiction genres and Cold Blood had more than a little nod towards the whole Star Trek franchise. Even the remodelled Silurians were obviously humans in prosthetics a la Trek, although the make-up itself was spot on and not merely the "forehead of the week" that Trek gets away with. I also thought that the episode was quite independently framed and didn't really require one to have seen the first part - which is nice for the casual viewer.

I suppose the main feature of the show was the last 10 minutes in which we discover that the human species are really as bad as we suspected we can be and the shock of a lead character dying. I tend to keep away from the spoiler threads of Sci Fi forums so I had no idea that this was going to happen and it had much of the same shock value as when the character of Adric was killed off in the early 1980's (although, in fairness, Adric was a pain in the neck so I was quite glad to see the back of him). It's interesting as I thought that Matt Smith was behaving very Peter Davidson throughout the episode. However, the fact that they then erased Rory from existence really sealed it for me. Death with a vengeance. The only thing I did notice is that after he was wiped from history, the engagement ring he had bought was still there. I can't think that this was an oversight so I can only imagine that we may not have seen and heard the last of Rory yet.

Anyway, it was a rather aptly titled episode - I just hope there is a bit more fun and frolics next week.

Eurovision!

Eurovision, as it happened...

Well, sort of. I watched both semi finals so I've seen 4 hours of this nonsense already. Anyway, we settled down having just watched Doctor Who (and more of that at a later date). So here is the result from the Stirlingshire jury:

Azerbaijan - Let's start with the beautiful people. This is an all singing, all dancing extravaganza but I'm not that fussed on the song and I have no idea where Azerbaijan is.

Spain - This features a fizzy haired weirdo with some freaky clowns. It's in traditional Eurovision fashion and nice enough but, wait... is that the first Eurovision stage diver I see? (This turns out to be enough for them to repeat the song at the end).

Norway - After winning it last year they have gone for a mawkish ballad called "My Lovely Horse" or something. It sounds a bit off but Raymond likes the fireworks.

Moldova - No idea where this is either but it features a rotating fiddler and a low rent Lady Gaga. The song is middling.

Cyprus - He's Welsh! A pleasant enough guitar ballad which will no doubt earn a few votes.

Bosnia & Herzegovina - Let's rawk! Rather American styled rock singing although more Euro rock style guitar. I like it - pretty good by Eurovision standards.

Belgium - A folksy guitar and singer. He sounds rather James Blunt and yet I have no desire to punch him in the face. Actually, the best of the night so far.

Serbia - A rather mad hair style and androgynous looking in the finest Bowie style. He sings in his own language, which is a bonus. A quirky danceable song that deserves to do well.

Belarus - They've got wings! A remarkably forgettable ballad but with the gimmick of the night so far.

Ireland - A middle aged redhead - which makes a refreshing change. She has won it before but I have no recollection of it. A very traditional Irish entry.

Greece - This is the soundtrack to a bonkers Greek wedding reception. No broken plates but wonderfully off their heads. Daft enough to get first place.

United Kingdom - God, this is awful. Can they give negative points? A pair of teenagers from Liverpool received nil points a few years back after singing out of tune but it's the backing track that's off here. I feel sorry for the lad.

Georgia - A pleasant enough power ballad but I'm now failing to tell this apart from anything else.

Turkey - Manga! Dance Rock. Something different from the Turks. They have a fembot girl who does an angle grinder solo and strips off. I now know what The Stig does as a day job. This really has it all.

Albania - This is a big disco number. It's nice enough but I don't think it will win.

Iceland - A chunky girl with chunky backing singers. A rather Ibiza sounding dance tune. At least they stand out from the crowd.

Ukraine - A young blonde girl who sounds like Evenesence (the American witch rock combo). I think the acoustic riff was pinched from the last Rammstein album but I'd be happy to listen to this again. I hope it wins. I bet it doesn't.

France - France presents your 100 best holiday club hits - complete with a Haka in the middle. You have to love the French.

Romania - A double glass piano and a bouncy dance number. Also features a bouncy girl singer in bouncy rubber wear - which is the only thing I liked about this one.

Russia - A maudlin love song dripping in irony. Very daft and one of the few intended comedy moments.

Armenia - An Angelina Jolie look-alike with very long hair singing about apricots - or something.

Germany - Lena from jolly old Deutschland. A pretty girl with a catchy indie song. Rather Lily Allen, in fact, but nothing like as annoying. Nina hates it but I think it's good - it could do well.

Portugal - They did my favourite song last year but this year's tries too hard. It's in their own language but far from outstanding.

Israel - They were bloody awful in the semis. I don't know what they are doing in the final and there is a serious off note at the end.

Denmark - This was meant to be the last song until they let Spain have another crack. It sounds remarkably like Every Breath You Take. Nice enough but I prefer the Police original.

Well, that's my opinion. I'm just off to endure an hour and a half of voting...



Good grief, that doesn't half go on. Germany wins. I bet they win the World Cup as well. I think Nina is coming around and actually likes it now. The UK finished last with 10 more points than they deserved. Clearly there are still some tone deaf people in Europe. Graham Norton was a hoot. He's such an improvement on Terry. Oh well, here's to Hamburg...

American Rock, American Jazz

I tend to shop around for credit cards. I usually manage to pay everything off by the end of the month so I've taken to using loyalty cards which give either cash back or money off vouchers for credit card use. Last year I had the Shell card which saved me a stack on petrol until they closed the scheme. This year I have an Amazon discount card which rewards use with Amazon vouchers. This is a handy way of indulging my love of music on the cheap. Recently I have had a few vouchers which is bad, as it means I am racking up huge credit card bills; but good in that I've managed to buy a few CDs. For the latest batch I've been filling in gaps in my American rock collection and continuing to explore the Jazz world.

I've always tended to prefer European hard rock bands over their American counterparts. I always thought that the US bands were more about showmanship than the music but I have gone for some acts that I thought were worthwhile. The first collection is Bon Jovi - big in the 1980's but who I always regarded as being big hair poseurs. The songs on their Greatest Hits collection are all good but, after a while, I've noticed how samey they become. The problem is that they are all big power ballads and there is no variation in Mr Jovi's voice. It's all high emotion from start to end. It's a case of more being less and is a pity as some of the songs have really decent arrangements and some, such as Living on a Prayer, are actually accomplished lyrically.

The second pick is that bete noir of right thinking American Christians, Marilyn Manson. He follows a great tradition of theatrical rock going back to Alice Cooper but following a much more extreme form of heavy metal. I can see why they are such a favourite of disaffected adolescents and why they really get up the noses of their parents. Musically, they fall somewhere between glam rock and a stilted misanthropic grotesque of other established artists - in fact the covers of Sweet Dreams and Personal Jesus are very good and would make great horror film music (I suspect that they have done). The singing style usually involves screaming angrily at some point - although this is less the controlled anger and seething political resentment of the likes of Metallica and more tantrum throwing. Still, an interesting act and worth a listen.

The third rock album I went for was Guns and Roses. I liked these when they first came out but never got round to buying anything. Their Greatest Hits is the best of the three rock albums and contains most of their well known songs and does stand up to repeated listening. It's mostly original material with a few covers, although I did think their version of Live and Let Die lacks the power of Paul McCartney's original. Their own songs are very good and it's easy to see why they became so popular.

The Jazz compilations I went for consisted of two pianists and a bass player. I think the piano is a nice link between the classical and jazz worlds and many of the performers will actively draw from both disciplines. This is certainly true of Oscar Peterson with many of his tracks showing a great understanding of classical composers - particularly Bach. His playing on the double CD is superb throughout, but it does show one of the big differences between classical and jazz. Classical music does emotion - jazz does moods. An operatic aria may be able to elicit the most exquisite form of sorrow; but to do melancholy takes jazz. A couple of the tracks did sound like they came from rather scratchy acetates - I can only assume the original tapes were missing but the music does make up for it.

The second jazz compilation was also a pianist but a somewhat different one - Thelonious Monk. I have often sat at a piano and randomly pressed the keys. Sometimes, something vaguely musical emerges and, with some effort, a rather eccentric tune can be produced. As far as I can tell, this is what Thelonious Monk did all the time. It's surprising how good this technique can be with a little perseverance and a good deal of natural talent. Most interesting is his version of Caravan when compared to the Django Reinhardt version I have. It's certainly quirkier but is none the worse for it.

The third jazz CD was a revelation. Charles Mingus was a bass player but his ability as a composer was astonishing - just as well as he was a complete psychopath by all accounts. Given that jazz is often associated with improvisation, Mingus' vision for the possibility of the form as a formal art was incredible. The album opens with Pithecanthropus Erectus - a tone poem depicting the rise and fall of hominids which is up their with Richard Strauss in ambition. The album continues on in similar fashion. However, I looked up some of his other works and it appears that some of his most famous albums are not even represented here. It's worth bearing in mind. I've been buying "Best Of" and "Greatest Hits" compilations of various jazz artists but it is quite possible that these only represent what was available to the label releasing the album - and even then only one person's opinion of what is best.

So, much to think about. I'll certainly be digging out more Mingus and I'll maybe have a good look around for decent compilations. I seem to keep receiving huge credit card bills so I will no doubt be ordering more soon.

The Hungry Earth And The European Cup

Another evening of daft Sci Fi and football last night - just the other way around from last week. I'll reserve judgement on the Doctor Who story until next week but I was rather looking forward to the Silurians. These, along with the Sea Devils, were some of the most memorable monsters from the early 1970's episodes and, for me, they were one of the more interesting science fiction ideas. What would reptilian life be like if it had evolved in to highly intelligent forms? It's difficult to gauge how intelligent dinosaurs and other Cretaceous life forms had evolved to. Generally speaking, it is regarded that Troödon was as advanced as they went but there are whole rafts of extinct animals for which precious little remains - including many early human ancestors. If Homo Sapiens were to become extinct, how much evidence of our existence would remain in 65 million years time? The episode itself appears to be a set up for a big special effects extravaganza next week - although the effect of Amy being sucked into the ground was pretty horrific for me now - let alone what I would have thought of it as a child.

The football caught me out - I had expected it to be on Wednesday night but the Saturday night showing was a bonus, allowing me to lie on the couch, put my feet up, drink too much beer and hurl abuse in the general direction of some of Europe's fittest and most gifted sportsmen. Such is the nature of armchair spectator sport. Prior to the game, the TV commentators and much of the press had seemed to be siding with Inter Milan. I think this is largely due to the presence of José Mourinho, who is an entertainment in himself - which is just as well as I have found his teams to be as dull as dishwater. I groaned when Liverpool and Chelsea drew each other for the umpteenth time. I really couldn't face it. I think the last time I watched "The Special One" pitting his wits against Rafael Benitez, I became engrossed in the process of photosynthesis which was proceeding in the centre circle. I'm not one to pass up free football on the telly but, for the next tie, I went for a David Attenborough documentary on the other side which at least allowed for some decent action - or at least allowed me to watch the grass grow in time-lapse. Needless to say, a German wife and German beer was enough for me to side with Bayern Munich.

As it was, Mourinho's tactics were much as expected as he defended in numbers and aimed to catch Bayern on the break. It worked. Two shots on goal, two goals and a victory in the bag. From a neutral perspective, I would have wished for someone like Barcelona or Arsenal in the final although I was glad to see a Bundesliga team back at that level. I haven't seen many top flight German games recently, as they have largely gone down the British route of banishing them to premium channels, but they have always managed to entertain me in the past. However, this was something that Inter were not going to allow. I can almost accept this tactic from a team of journeymen but this is a side that can count talents like Eto'o amongst their number - a player that I occasionally spotted and was surprised to find he was still on the pitch.

Still, it's the end results that count and this is why Mourinho is successful. The only thing that was unforgivable about Inter's performance is the number of cynical professional fouls and play acting that they seemed to get away with. Referees don't like to deal too harshly with these early in the match but I thought the way Robben was hacked down early in the first half was a debatable red card offence - let alone a simple free kick. However I did notice the ref, Howard Webb, waving on the more dubious dives and theatrics which is some credit to the official. Other than that, it was a frustrating 90 minutes football and I could only wish that Bayern had a huge centre forward of the likes of Jan Koller or Peter Crouch who can make a nonsense of the ten man defence.

Anyway, next week it's the second part of the Who story and the wonderful campfest that is Eurovision!

The Problems of Philosophy

I think this book should have actually been called The Problems with my Eyesight. Such was the diminutive nature of the font size, I spent ages merely squinting painfully at the page. It's a pity because The Problems of Philosophy is a valuable read. Bertrand Russell's writing varies between accessible essays, such as Why I am not a Christian, to worthy but fundamentally unreadable works such as Principia Mathematica. Fortunately, Problems falls into the former category. In fact Russell referred to it as his "Shilling Shocker" which, I assume, is a somewhat more upmarket version of the "Penny Dreadful".

The "problems" addressed in the book are really the fundamentals of philosophy - what is knowledge and how can we proclaim to know the things we say we know with any certainty. Some of the chapters are highly thought provoking as they question how we can rely on our senses or how we determine the fundamental nature of matter and the universe. He also deals convincingly with idealism (the concept that only thoughts really exist) and the more extreme forms of scepticism.

Although accessible, I think the style of writing can be rather repetitive which does make it difficult to comprehend. Writing for a more general audience is difficult - particularly when the subject matter is rather specialist - but it must be remembered that this book was written in 1912 and, at the time, using simple discourse to discuss philosophy would be regarded as radical in itself. I have certainly read more recent volumes which are a good deal more tiresome and yet fail to cover the depth of detail dealt with here. In fact, the best way to approach it is to imagine it is being read by Professor Yaffle from Bagpuss. Actually, the Yaffle character was based on Bertrand Russell so it's quite fitting.



Overall, a worthwhile read. I just need to see my optician again.

Tangerine Dreams and Amy's Choice

Yesterday was a happy enough afternoon's couch-potatodom. The Scottish Cup final was on. In the last few seasons there have been a few underdogs pitting themselves against the Old Firm duopoly; with Gretna, Dunfermline, Queen of the South and Falkirk all putting up a decent show. Yesterday we had Dundee United and Ross County filling out Hamden Park. They are two clubs I've rather a soft spot for, mainly as their fans have always been decent sorts. Ross County is based in Dingwall, a tiny Highland town, but when they played Stenhousemuir in the second division they always seemed to bring along 3 or 4 times as many fans as Stenny could muster. The have moved on upwards and are not that far away from the Premier league. This season they have had a fantastic run in the cup, dumping Hibs and Celtic out in the process. Dundee United played East Stirling in the cup last year - also at Ochilview. As you can imagine, they brought a fair contingent of fans along and the local ASDA car park was heaving. I took my mother-in-law along to the shops but had to park at the far end. I went to fetch her back a few minutes later to find that two lads in tangerine football shirts were helping her carry her shopping back to the car. That sort of thing really makes an impression.

In all fairness, the final was not a classic. Both sides looked very cagey and very much at the end of a long and tiring season. However, after an hour Dundee United scored with a brilliant chip and the game came to life for the last half hour.. It ended up 3-0, which I think was a fair score. Amazingly, this was only the second time that United had won the cup. Anyway, that's United in next year's Europa League and 50,000 people trying to fight their way back through the A80 road works. I imagine that both sets of fans will remember the day for a long time.

On to the evening and the latest episode of Doctor Who - Amy's Choice. This was a cracker of an episode although it looks like it was filmed on a budget that would not have been out of place in the 1970's. When the show was first devised in 1963 it was envisaged that the format should allow for any sort of Sci-Fi story to be told (as well as purely historical adventures). Here we had an episode that takes place purely in the minds of the main protagonists in what reminded me of the very best of Philip K Dicks mind-messing novels. The characters are trapped between two possible realities. One where Amy is married to Rory and seriously up the duff (which takes the Doctor ages to work out), and the other where they are trapped on the Tardis falling towards a frozen Sun. They must decide to die in one scenario - if it's the fantasy one they wake up in reality, but if it's reality then they are dead!

That is not, in fact, what Amy's Choice is really about and when we do find out it really pays off the character development from the last few episodes - no doubt to the annoyance of the Daily Mail. I also loved the look of the pretty English village gone wrong - very Shaun of the Dead. If I had any complaints it's that the resolution to the episode was very abrupt. It seemed like a massive MacGuffin at first but that assumes that MacGuffins are a bad thing whereas Alfred Hitchcock, who devised the term, built an entire career with the technique. In fact it is essential to the whole concept of the episode that the Sci-Fi element is inconsequential and frivolous, as it is the introspection of the characters that is the driving force of the story.

I'm going to watch the episode again tonight to see if it still all makes sense - I really hope it does.

Election Special

I suppose I should be happy since I got what I wanted - a hung parliament. Although, it appears this involves politicians being ever so polite to each other rather than the re-run of the Nuremburg trials which I'd envisaged. Still, it really gives me the creeps seeing a Tory back in number 10.

However, I do have hope for the new government. I believe that single party governments have been very damaging to this country - particularly when combined with huge majorities. What we have had in effect, for years, is electoral dictatorship. Once the votes are counted there have been no checks or balances on what the government of they day can do - whether Tory or Labour. With a junior coalition partner, the main party cannot easily make corrupt deals or ride roughshod over the civil rights of the population.

I also think that the Liberals have managed to get a good deal from coalition. I think evidence of this is the fury shown by right wing Tory old guard and their mates in the papers. Their sense of entitlement really makes me want to vomit. They have to realise that no-one won the election outright and everyone deserves to have their views represented in parliament. Despite what the neigh sayers would promote, I think coalition (or even minority) government is a good thing. It prevents the worst excesses of any political party and it may even occur to them that the views of the people are what matters. There is a disincentive to leave a financial and social mess for the next party to pick up as members of the current government may well be taking part in the next.

We will see in the coming weeks how things will shape up. The budget will be harsh but we can see if they will support the masses or leave the passengers at either end of the social scale to leech off the general populous. We will also see how much they are prepared to roll back authoritarian legislation of the last 30 years and restore us to the liberal democracy we once were.

Poor Winners

The domestic football season is drawing to a close and it looks like a mixed bag for the teams I follow. Liverpool have just about scraped Europa League football for next season - which is probably more than they deserve. Newcastle United have bounced back to the Premier League in fine style. Stenhousemuir have somehow muddled their way to safety in Division 2 but Falkirk have been relegated. I noticed that the BBC reported that the Bairns had no shots on target in the deciding game against Kilmarnock which pretty much sums up their season. Fortunately, Steven "Elvis" Pressley has agreed to stay on as head coach so he will hopefully start to piece together a decent team. Falkirk are still attractive to watch so if he can sort out a decent attack they would be good value for money.

I think the most dramatic end was in "League One" - or, as I call it, Division 3. Any of 4 teams could have been relegated and a win would have guaranteed survival for any with the exception of Tranmere, who were relying on other results going their way. As it was, Tranmere won and it was Gillingham who were relegated. This will be a devastating blow for Gills' fans, and they have my sympathy, but I am delighted that Tranmere pulled this off. They had an awful start to the season with the ill-conceived appointment of John Barnes as coach and they were left rooted to the foot of the table with an appalling goal difference by October. Les Parry has done a fantastic job to maintain their status. It reminded me of a game I saw against Exeter City in 1987 when they escaped relegation from the league with only minutes to spare.

What I did find disheartening was the trolling post on a Tranmere message board from a supposed Liverpool fan who claimed that they had "cheated" by playing bottom of the table Stockport on the last day of the season. Now, this is clearly a class one numpty but it did get me thinking about what actually motivates some football fans. With the Premier League coming to a close I looked at some of the messages there. If my team had just won a major competition I would be absolutely delighted. I would be so elated that I could not care about any other team or their supporters as all the effort in supporting a team would have been rewarded at last. Seemingly, this is not shared by every football fan. There were various comments on Manchester United message boards from, supposedly, Chelsea fans bragging about their money and United's debt. In fact it took Chelsea to the last day to win the title in spite of United's defensive injuries. The Manchester club have had a fantastic season and, although there is minimal silverware, they can take great pride in how well their players have performed. I checked today and it looks like those comments have been deleted. However, in past seasons I can recall similarly poisonous comments being aimed at Liverpool or Arsenal fans from, allegedly, United supporters.

When I was growing up I was always told to be gracious in defeat. No-one likes a sore loser. However, I think that is understandable. Losing stinks. If I had been watching a team for a whole season there is a great deal of emotional investment at stake and to lose out at the last hurdle is a big disappointment. I can understand the motivation of fans who will blame the pitch, the referee or their "cheating" opponents. It's not pleasant but it is understandable. What I can't tolerate is those fans who's team has just won but all they are concerned about is taunting the fans of rivals. I don't mean typical football banter, which is fair enough, but nasty, hateful comments. They don't seem to be concerned at winning at all. What they want to see is their rivals lose. Can there be anything worse than poor winners?

I am rather reminded of the acceptance speech of former German president Johannes Rau:

"Ein Patriot ist jemand, der sein Vaterland liebt. Ein Nationalist ist jemand, der die Vaterländer anderer Völker verachtet. Ich will ein Patriot sein." - "A patriot is someone who loves his homeland. A nationalist is someone who despises the homelands of other peoples. I will be a patriot."

I think this can apply to football as much as nations. A true football fan will support his local team - or the team he has chosen to adopt - through thick and thin. That's not to say that they may not, at times, be critical of their team and wish that they could emulate more successful sides. This is a healthy and optimistic state of being. When the only pleasure that can be taken is in the downfall of others then it is a poisoned state of mind - and nothing good can come of it.

I'm not sure quite where such attitudes originate from. I suspect that rampant nationalism and tribalism was a useful survival technique in evolutionary terms. Suspicion of "the other" would help to protect one's own. But in an interconnected world this is can only lead to increasing mistrust and even violence against "the other". When tribalism and nationalism shows through it is the inadequacies of those individuals and their inability to assert themselves constructively that leads them to turn against others. For some football fans, it seems, winning is not enough - in fact, it is not anything.

I will congratulate those that have won and commiserate with those that have lost but, like Rau, I think I will be a patriot.

The Vampires of Venice

The current series of Doctor Who is almost half way through and last night I watched the latest instalment, The Vampires of Venice. Well, at least, I watched most of it. It was on stupidly early so I set the PVR to record it as I was getting the little two off to bed at that time. The BBC had advertised this as 18:00-18:45 and that's what it recorded - except that I appear to have missed the beginning and it cut off before the end. It looks like the episode is over 45 minutes but the BBC didn't advertise it that way. It's bloody infuriating. The BBC's timekeeping is atrocious but with accurate recording this shouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately, they don't seem to get this right and it seems to affect drama in particular. I missed the beginning of Ashes to Ashes on Friday night as well. It's either that or they foul up the end credits with continuity announcements. Why do they go to the trouble of producing quality programmes and then ruin them with shoddy transmission standards?

Anyway, the episode itself, at least what I saw of it, was an enjoyable enough 45 minutes diversion and was an attempt to apply yet another genre to the Whoniverse. In this case it was that old favourite, The Hammer Horror Film. Particularly, in this case, it was a great homage to the early 70's Lesbian Vampire movie. Yeah! No Peter Cushing this time - although Matt Smith camped it up in fine style. This was actually written by the writer of Being Human, which accounts for the light tone, but it still feels consistent with the rest of the episodes - I'm assuming that the Moff has a good deal of input.

Overall, this was a filler episode and intended as a bit of entertaining fluff after last weeks high drama with the weeping angels. On that basis it worked very well but it still had good dramatic moments with the Doctor showing himself to be somewhat removed from his travelling companions - very First Doctor, I thought (in fact he still has that picture on his library card). I also thought the character of Rory proved to be interesting. He seemed to have the mark of the Doctor and really challenged the motives of our eponymous hero. I'm thinking that there may be more to Rory. This was hinted at in the opening episode with the mysterious date on his hospital ident - does he know more about Amy than he is letting on?

Amy and Rory managed to get back together at the end of the episode - at least I'm assuming that they did. They were kissing when the recording cut out. I didn't notice any time cracks this week (although it was mentioned) - unless it was included in the few minutes that I didn't see. I've noticed that this is repeated on BBC Three in the week so I may catch the whole thing there (along with that ruddy pink station ident - sodding BBC). At the beginning of the series I did wonder whether the BBC budget cuts would show through but tonight was spot on, with fantastic location shooting and lush visuals. I also thought the CGI bits looked OK as well. I'm not a great fan of green screen technology but the current production staff seem to know when best to use it and when to stick with prosthetics and models.

Overall, it was a highly enjoyable episode and, maybe, by next Saturday, I will have seen it all.

Moab is my Washpot

I have to admit that I chose to read this autobiography by chance. I was looking in the library for a decent biography of Sigmund Freud but I found this Stephen Fry book and, more than anything else, I was intrigued by its title. I like Stephen Fry. His intellect, wit and humour are a joy and he comes across as a genuinely nice bloke. However, things were not always this way and this book covers the first 20 years of his life when he went off the rails in quite dramatic fashion. So, it's not a celebrity name dropping session, but an honest appraisal of his childhood: his parents, his upbringing, his schooling, his emergent sexuality and his rampant kleptomania and subsequent short spell in prison - no, I would never have guessed that last bit either. I suppose it's a sort of self-psychoanalysis, which is rather fitting since I was looking for the Freud book.

When reading a biography I'm always interested in how much I have in common with the subject. In this case, it would appear to be not very much. Fry had an upper-middle class English engineer father and Austrian-Jewish mother. My father was from a Scots-Catholic background and my mother Welsh/Ulster Protestants (family get-togethers were such a joy). He went to prep and then public school. I went to the local scumbag comprehensive. He was useless at maths, science and music whereas they were always my strengths. His discovered he was homosexual whereas my sexuality was - well, frankly no-one else's business. Yet I do feel some empathy with his story - probably because his thoughts and emotions are so genuinely articulated. It really gives the impression that he has opened up in all confidence and his experiences are those that many young people encounter whilst growing up - merely in a different context. His story of his utter infatuation with another boy at school will ring a bell with many a tale of unrequited love.

For a comedian there aren't that many jokes in the book. That's not to say it isn't very funny in places. He uses humour and often writes in a humorous style but that is not the main thrust of the book. Part of Fry's popularity is his skill as a raconteur and that really propels the book along. Many of the stories are rather downbeat but his use of words and comic asides keep the interest going and gives the various chapters some sort of point - particularly as they relate to his current outlook on life.

The one item I didn't expect was his brush with the law. He hints here about his bi-polar condition and, in fact, the worst of the kleptomania came after a suicide attempt. However, he doesn't elaborate on his mental health here. He has since written and produced a television documentary about this but he was maybe not quite ready to discuss it at any length in 1997 when he wrote the book. Mental health issues always carry a great stigma - possibly Moab was his first attempt to come out of the closet with this. If this book was his opening session on the psychiatrist's chaise longue then the second volume, on which he is currently working, should be an eye-opener.

My only complaint was that the title is not explained anywhere in the book so I had to look it up. It's a quote from Psalm 60, verse 8: "Moab is my washpot; over Edom will I cast out my shoe: Philistia, triumph thou because of me." I was pretty much still at a loss but it refers to the Moab, a former enemy of Israel which was overcome but appears to have the meaning of how difficulties, once dealt with, can inspire a person. Well, you learn something every day.

Flesh and Stone

Don't blink - because if you do you will probably miss something in what has to be the most frenetic episode of Doctor Who since it's return. And that's saying something. I watched a couple of episodes of Heroes and found myself shouting "Get a bleeding move on" to the screen as they plodded through 45 minutes of filler to tell us about 45 seconds worth of story - I've really lost faith in that series.

Anyway, back to Who. After last weeks set-up and tension this was a straight forward action adventure - and a frantic one at that. This really showed up Matt Smith Doctor's habit of acting on the hoof and making it up as he goes along to the full - although some of the dialogue is lost in the rush (and overly loud score) but it still has memorable lines like the Doctor's answer to Amy when she asks about what happens if the gravity fails: "I've thought about that. We'll all plunge to our deaths. See, I've thought about it." Classic stuff.

We have also received some major details about the series' story arc - the crack in the wall and the fact that major events from past series have been lost. Using the reset key is usually a pretty naff plot device - think of Bobby Ewing emerging from the shower in Dallas - and it usually indicates that the writers have actually lost the plot themselves. Not in this case - Moffat is making the fact that time can unravel itself to be the main story for the series. Also, in a break with previous years, the story arc is obvious and playing a major role in the episodes rather than drip feeding plot points like American Sci-Fi series or leaving minute details to be poured over on fan forums and geeky internet blogs (errm... like this one, I suppose). That's not to say that there aren't mysteries to be guessed at and it looks like River Song will be a re-occurring character in the series but who did she kill? Not you-know-Who, surely?

Steven Moffat appears to be writing the show with his two children in mind. He is making it scary, fun and accessible in a way that children appreciate but still using a decent plot and script to appeal to the whole family. And that's great since I am also a middle aged bloke in Scotland watching the show with the kids. When I was 8 years old the highlight of the week was watching Doctor Who with my dad after the football and now I find myself doing the same thing. Mind you, the only bit that had Raymond hiding behind the couch was when Amy tried to kiss the Doctor. Of course, the Doctor wasn't having anything of it - rather like a scene from an old screwball comedy or one of the early Carry On... films.

Maybe they could do "Carry On Doctor". Ohhhh Matron!