What A Pity They Can't All Lose

It's General Election time and so far I have six candidates. I have yet to decide which is the least objectionable of them. The seat, Stirling, is currently held by Labour and is being presented as a Labour-Conservative two horse race (despite the fact that the SNP won it at Holyrood). The problem is that I don't want either of them.

The Labour Party's abandonment of the ordinary working people is bad enough but I don't even like the incumbent MP. Over the past few years I have written to her twice - one letter was ignored and the other was replied to with a glib stating of the party line after the vote had been done and dusted. That's not representation - I don't expect an MP to change their views as such but I expect a reasoned response and not just plain cowardice. Why on Earth would I want some lobby fodder as my local MP? There are a few good guys left in the Labour party but they are largely ignored by the leadership or regarded as an annoyance. I'm not that fussed on Gordon Brown either but he did go up somewhat in my estimation when I discovered that he wrote, personally, to the families of dead servicemen. However, I think he has been in power too long - he won't admit to past mistakes and there are too many that need fixing. The other thing is whether he will remain as leader. This is the party that elected Harriet Harman as deputy leader - an unashamed, wailing misandronist and quite possibly the worst person in the country.

I have never voted Conservative although there are Conservative MP's whose views I value - even if I don't agree with them. Unfortunately, none of them are in the running for high office. I dislike Cameron. It's not just that he has one of those faces that you could punch repeatedly but he reminds me of Tony Blair which does him no favours. Is he going to turn out to be a brown paper bag merchant or a mass killer? His opponents are using the "toff" card against him but, as far as I am concerned, his family and upbringing should have no baring on whether he is fit to lead the country. What worries me is who is pulling his strings. I don't think he, or any other candidate, is telling the truth about what they will do. I am convinced that the VAT rate will go up regardless of who gets in but I'd have more respect for them if they were honest before hand. What really worries me is what damage he could do to the fabric of this country. Murdoch's papers (and others) are supporting him and they will want their pound of flesh. I suspect this will be to destroy the BBC and damage any publicly funded arts to allow a private, monopolistic media shitefest.

Away from the big two we have the SNP. They have been in charge at Holyrood for a while now and they have made a reasonably decent stab at government. Not that they have done everything to my taste but they have been generally honest (as far as I can tell) and have tried to promote their particular brand of civic nationalism. The problem with Westminster is it is a parliament that they don't fundamentally believe in. They may be able to get a few concessions from the main parties but, as they (rightly) refuse to vote on English-only matters, I can't see them being first choice for a coalition partner. I could also see them being bought quite cheaply by the offer of an independence vote. Maybe that would be no bad thing but I'd rather have a more positive representation for my MP. Having said that, the SNP probably have most chance of stopping the other two getting in.

The Liberals always seem to make a habit of offering an inoffensive middle ground. I'm not entirely against that as most things are best in moderation. I think I voted for them in 2005 - mainly because I liked the ginger bloke. Unfortunately, he is ancient history now. I was actually surprised by the latest incumbent, Nick Clegg. He came across as quite eloquent on the TV debate, although I don't think I would recognise him if I saw him in the street. I do like Vince Cable - he is actually my brother's constituency MP and is a good stick by all accounts. Whether he would be given a ministerial role is another matter but he does seem to be reasonably well respected. Unfortunately, with our first past the post system I feel a Lib Dem vote here would be pissing in the wind. At least it would be more constructive than just writing "none of the above" on the voting slip.

There are two other candidates. The Greens always appeal to me on a certain level until I see their policies. They should be the one party that is guided by logical and scientific principles but they have dogmatic lines on things like GM foods, organic farming, nuclear power and so on. They have an image of being sandal-wearing, beardy-weirdy hippies and I think the image is probably justly earned. The other party standing are UKIP who would like to present themselves as progressive civic nationalists. Unfortunately, after Nigel Farage's display in the European Parliament, I have a feeling that they are much more xenophobic than they would publicly have us believe. His ad hominem attack on Herman Van Rompuy and description of Belgium as a "non-country" were just beyond the pale. I really don't want an embarrassment like that representing this country.

So that's the miserable choice I'm left with. I don't believe in not voting as it sends the wrong message to the shysters. I suppose I'm hoping for a hung parliament. However, I believe that rather than "hung" a wicker man would provide much more entertainment.