The Bells of Saint John

Who’s back. Steven Moffat’s episode titles are often clever word-plays with little to do with the episode but The Bells of Saint John has to be one of his best – and possibly my favourite. But what of the episode? Well, the concept was good, the story telling was fine and the script was taut – but it didn’t quite hit the heights of the Christmas episode for me: some of the writing in The Snowmen was exceptional (for example, the one-word-answer interrogation scene was one of the best single bits of writing that Moffat has done) but The Bells was more about setting the scene and a certain amount of MacGuffinry to get the doctor and Clara back together. Possibly it has the disadvantage that this is the third Clara introduction rather than being a concept on its own but it did still manage to entertain for 45 minutes.

The actual plot – an unseen force sucking people’s souls out through the Internet – felt like it should have been done for Charlie Brooker’s Black Mirror series. Although it wasn’t explained quite how Clara’s tech support call was routed through to the Doctor I rather enjoyed the Time Lord’s attempts to talk the computer illiterate Clara through her IT troubles. I work in technical support and some of the things that people come out with are priceless: my favourite was when someone told me that they thought they had deleted the Internet (they had actually deleted the Internet Explorer shortcut). However, the idea that once connected to the world-wide-web that one’s soul would be sucked out and a cold empty shell of humanity left is all too familiar to me.

The monster-of-the-week was a pretty good one. The Spoonheads look like a normal human being but it is only when they turn around that it is clear that their heads are hollowed out. It’s the sort of thing that really creeps me out and it was brilliant realised – particularly with the Doctor pulling off the same trick towards the end. However, I can’t see this being a return monster unless Mr Moffat needs them for a plot twist later in the series.

I suppose, like the Christmas episode, this one was really about Clara again. I think she has all the makings of one of the great Doctor Who assistants – pretty, whip smart and an essentially likeable girl that the audience wants to identify with. Quite how this version of Clara fits in with the other two (or whether she is the same as one of the others) remains a mystery. There were a few hints dropped in that this could be the same as soufflé girl but we did, finally, get to the closing credits without her dying. After all, I think it would get a bit much if she was bumped off each week like Rory (there is actually a Facebook group called “Oh my God, they killed Rory”).

That just leaves Matt Smith as the Doctor. I really can’t get why some people don’t like him – in fact the vitriol some aim in his direction has kept me away from poison pen “fan” forums. For me he is one of the most engaging actors to play the role since Tom Baker. He is now well into his third series and I still expect him to do something new and intriguing every week. By this point I’d got rather bored of David Tennant’s Doctor (which I think was more to do with the predictable scripts than the actor). I see that David Tennant and Billie Piper are back for the 50th anniversary episode which, on the one hand, is great news but I feel a little sorry that it may take some of the limelight away from Matt. Multi-Doctor episodes are rather too fondly remembered – probably because of the sparky energy between Patrick Troughton and Jon Pertwee playing a man who couldn’t stand himself(s). Still, that’s not until November and we still have seven more episodes of Matt and Jenna to look forward to.

Bog Standard

If there is one room that visitors to the house will see (aside from the living room) it’s the downstairs toilet. Ours was a state. Of all the rooms in the house this was the one that we hadn’t got round to decorating. Partly, this was because we had some plans to extend it and create a shower-room of sorts. What with one thing and another that just wasn’t happening and the downstairs bog was resplendent with its orange ceiling and the terracotta, sky-blue and florescent green floral wallpaper – much of which was peeling off  due to a leak in the roof which we had to fix not long after we moved in. In short – it was a bit of a toilet.

This weekend, I’ve redecorated it although this turned out to be one of those tasks that got out of hand. Initially, Nina suggested that I buy a replacement light fitting as the glass bowl over the wall light had shattered when I tried to change the bulb. However, if I was going to go to the trouble of changing the lights then it made more sense to redecorate the whole room. I started stripping the wallpaper last Thursday, only to discover that most of the plaster came away with it. The water damage was worse than I thought. However, I didn’t want to be spending a fortune on the decoration.

As it was, I didn’t spend much. In total I’ve spend £35 and most of that was for the lighting. Aside from that, I had to buy a bag of plaster and the paint and other materials came from left overs I had for other jobs. It looks presentable now – all magnolia and white. I was thinking of posting a before and after picture but at the end of the day it’s only a toilet and I think I would be rather too ashamed to reproduce the “before” image in public.

Car Trouble

I’ve had my car in for repairs again this week. The ancillary belt was slipping and the braking system has been taken apart and the discs and pads changed as it was still wearing unevenly. I seem to have had a few things that needed fixing over the last year: the engine temperature sensor, exhaust heat shield, brakes in various types of disarray and other odds and ends that have either worn out or come loose due to repeated, daily pot-hole abuse. The car is now almost 8 years old and I am beginning to wonder whether it has seen better days. I added up all the repairs over the last year and it came to around £800. I haven’t had to pay that as it is still under an extended warrantee and, had I been paying for his myself, it is likely that I could have had it done more cheaply using pattern parts via independent garages. The warrantee has turned out to be quite a wise investment but it is due to run out in a couple of months – after that, I’m on my own.

One of the hardest things with car ownership is knowing when to call it a day. I’m not very good at it but I think a big factor of when to swap vehicles is not financial but whether you actually like the car or not. Having said that, I ended aimlessly throwing money at the hateful Mazda Premacy diesel which we had for around 3 years. I just couldn’t believe that what was a relatively new car could have so much go wrong with it. I finally gave up when it was only 5 years old and the saving on constant repair bills was remarkable. On other cars it has varied: I spent more on my old Volkswagen than it was worth because I liked it but my Almera was sold on when the bearings started to go in the gearbox - at 150,000 miles it probably made sense to change it but whilst I respected the vehicle for it’s no-nonsense build quality I never really felt an attachment to the car. It was merely a solid workhorse.

I actually do like my Yaris. Toyota have a reputation for making automotive white goods but the Yaris has character. It is also a good design (albeit a 15 year old one) and the real-world fuel economy is still exceptional. However, the car itself is realistically too small for what I want to use it for. I actually bought the car intending to use it for a short commute but my job was then relocated much further away. In fact I originally intended to buy a Toyota Aygo (or a similar Citroen C1 that appealed to me at the time) but I just found the Yaris to be that little bit more grown up. As it is, it has served me well but I am concerned as to which direction the repair bills are going. After the latest repairs it is working well but I am still rather mistrusting about the brakes and, whilst they may not have caused any problems to date, it still has the original battery, most of the original suspension components (and it sounds like it!) as well as items such as the clutch and exhaust which could require expensive repairs in the relatively near future. Then again, they may not and that’s the quandary.

If I was only needing to use a car for local urban journeys I’d stick with it but I do need to cover quite a high mileage and, rather than waiting until something catastrophic goes wrong and make an emergency replacement purchase I think it would make more sense to buy a replacement in a more controlled fashion – probably something nearly new and probably Golf-sized (although not a Golf which is the ultimate car-to-buy-when-you-don’t-know-what-you-really-want). Of course, that does mean swapping potentially high repair costs for actually high depreciation but that does mean less hassle in terms of organising repairs at garages and it should make the running costs predictable if not exactly low. As it is, I’ve got the last couple of months of warrantee to cover me. After that, I can keep an eye open for any attractive looking deals.

I suppose I am reminded of a quote from a friend of mine: “if you own a car you may as well throw your money at the road”. This is perfectly true and if I could make do with public transport I would quite happily not own a car at all. Unfortunately, public transport isn’t a remotely practical choice for me so I will have to stump up for something more reliable. This does mean I can look forward to the fun of test drives and the not so much fun of dealing with car salesmen.

Hungarian Shelves

After last week’s wood cutting exploits I have finally managed to get my Hungarian Shelves up. I had decided to varnish the wood in different colours to emphasis the effect. I chose a dark oak varnish for the uprights but did the shelves themselves in clear gloss varnish. It looks quite good but I think it would have been easier to do the painting after the shelves were up rather than before. You live and learn I suppose.

The only thing I did discover is that the uprights have to be installed with millimetre accuracy. I found that the best technique is to measure and drill out the top screw and loosely attach the upright and then position the other holes accordingly. After that the shelves slot in surprisingly easily. In total, the materials cost just over £60 (although I have stacks of the dark varnish left over). I did have to spend out on a couple of tools but tools are always handy to have in. The only thing I did wish I had spent more on is the wood for the shelves. I used the standard planed softwood rather than the more expensive furniture wood and the shelves have warped slightly longitudinally. It’s barely noticeable and they still function perfectly well but it is a bit irritating after the amount of time I spent on them.

The one thing I didn’t expect with this is how much space it has freed up in the room. I think it is similar to the effect of mounting the TV on the wall rather than on a table. However, as well as making my dining room look bigger it has made my CD collection look smaller. I’m sure Mr Amazon will help on that one although simply sorting the CDs back into alphabetical order has unearthed a Muddy Waters album I thought long lost. Well, what should one file it under: “M” or “W”?

If I were a Carpenter

Whilst I am a bit of a sucker for Ikea furniture sometimes they just don’t do anything that is suitable. Such an example is shelving storage for my burgeoning collection of CDs. I did buy some cabinets from Ikea a few years ago but they are now all full and I am increasingly finding bending down to see them is becoming more and more of a pain – both for the eyes and the back. Oh, the joys of middle age! Anyway, after browsing around various DIY websites on the Internet I came across something that would fit the bill nicely: Hungarian Shelves. The one problem is that I would have to construct them from scratch. Well, how hard could that be? The answer is “very”.

The thing is that there is a big difference between what I image my carpentry skills are like and what the sad reality is. Somehow, I imagine that my wood working skills are in the same league as the great cabinet makers: Thomas Chippendale, Henry Copeland, Jesus and so on. In fact, I am what is technically known as a klutz. The problem is that Ikea gives the impression that one is in possession of some sort of basic furniture building skills when in fact one is merely constructing pre-fabricated components in a build-by-numbers fashion. Far from being a skilled craftsman I am reduced to being merely a gorilla with an Allen key. Anyway, I had bought all the wood now so I was just going to press on.

The first thing was to mark out the bits that needed cutting. Calculating the distances is easy enough. What I may lack in manual dexterity I do at least have in terms of mental arithmetic. Marking out the cut marks with a pencil should be easy enough but I found that I couldn’t see close-up clearly enough with my glasses on and after taking my glasses off to mark the wood with the pencil I couldn’t see far enough to where I left my try square – or my glasses for that matter. I thought that cutting the wood would be easier - but it wasn’t. After the first few cuts I was exhausted. Surely, I wasn’t that unfit? I seem to recall my old woodwork teacher saying something about letting the saw do the work for you – mine clearly wasn’t which pointed along to the sad fact that my old tenon saw was knackered. There is an old saying that a poor workman blames his tools but I think it is more a case that a good workman will use the correct tools for the job in the first place.

I ended up going down to the hardware shop to part with more hard earned cash to buy a new saw. The difference was like night and day. It’s true – the saw really does do the work for you. It still took quite a while to do and even then, I had to supplement my toolset with a wood rasp, a new chisel (as the handle had dropped off my old one), some wood glue, a swear box, a first aid kit and a long shower afterwards. Additionally, this exercise didn’t involve a visit to the accident and emergency department so I would regard this as a bonus. However, after two days worth of sawing, chiselling, sanding, swearing and gluing I had come up with this:

Essentially, all my efforts had created what was effectively my own Ikea-style flat pack kit. I still have to varnish the thing before I can even attempt to drill into the wall and mount the thing. Maybe that’s a task for next weekend?