Destroy It Yourself

I've been on holiday all this week. At least I haven't gone into the office to look bored and swear at computers all day. Instead, I have been working like a slave and swearing at power tools, trying to get my house in some sort of order. The living room was finished last Friday - more or less. I still have to do something about the coffee table and I am planning on a replacement TV. I even went as far as looking at one on Monday. With the living room finished we have decanted all the furniture from the back room which is now our main bedroom, so what was the bedroom has now become a dining room. However, all of this has involved some hefty redecoration and, being a bit skint, I have decided to do it all myself instead of hiring someone competent.

I think it started off looking quite reasonable until I discovered that I would need at least three coats of paint to cover the previous owner's colour scheme. I'm actually a bit colour blind but even I could tell it was bad. This took longer than I had planned and ended up with a few 12 hour painting shifts. At least I was able to listen to a few CDs whilst I was working. Anyway, the new bedroom was finished by about Tuesday and it looks fantastic. The old bedroom was, effectively, a dining room and it was a bit dark and miserable as a bedroom. In fact, sleeping in a downstairs reception room of an old Victorian house has something of a student slum feel about it and isn't something I particularly want to go back to. The new room is bright and airy and has a real luxury feel about it. As a bonus, I re-engineered the bed. We had to by a new frame when we moved and the old divan mattress wasn't really suited to the wooden bedframe. I added several more supports underneath which has a much firmer, more comfortable feel about it. I'm actually quite pleased about that and it doesn't spoil the look of the bed.

This all meant that the dining room was now freed up. To try and brighten it up a bit my wife suggested that we should paint it all white. On the face of it, this sounds easy enough but after a couple of hours of painting snow-blindness sets in and it is almost impossible to see what has or hasn't been painted. At this point, I also started running short of paint, having foolishly thought a 25 litre tub would be enough. I just about managed to stretch it and this just left the flooring to complete. Our neighbours have sanded and varnished the original floor boards of their house. This looks fantastic and retains one of the original features of the house. I'm largely in favour of this kind of thing but our boards, whilst sound, have seen better days - which is probably why the previous owners have carpeted much of it. However, I think it is possible to keep a house modern whilst being sympathetic to the original architecture. After all, if I was really going to restore the house to its original features it would have to be gas lighting, no central heating  and an outside bog - and that is just not going to happen where I am concerned.

We ended up having a look around a few carpet and flooring places in Falkirk. There is always the option of linoleum but I don't think the floor boards are flat enough and I can't pronounce it anyway. The easy option for a hard floor is laminate. I've fitted this a few times and, whilst it does result in sore knees, it is easy enough to do and the results are quite pleasing. As it was, Nina decided that solid oak flooring would look nice. On the one hand this is a good choice as it is hardwearing and in keeping with the period of the house. On the down side, it is an absolute bastard of a material to lay down. It takes ages to prepare it and every board has to be nail gunned in place. My eldest son, Raymond, was very helpful in holding the boards in place whilst I fitted them and was generally useful, passing tools and tidying up to take the strain off me. He also learned a large lexicon of foul mouthed angry utterances which he will be able dazzle his school fiends with. Much of this occurred when I dropped the saw on my hand and had to clean the blood of the buggering wall. The one good thing is the end result is stunning. I took a picture on my mobile phone camera to demonstrate:

Yes, I know. The phone is crap. I had a similar sorry effort when I tried to take a picture of a whippet wearing a fez:

Anyway, it's back to the office next week for a bit of a rest. I also seem to have a leaky roof so I expect that's the new telly down the drain...

When I'm Cleaning Carpets

This week we have bought a new carpet. They aren't cheap - at least not for a good one. This was for our new front room which has, as far as I know, never had fitted carpets before so it really bumped up the costs - partly this was because I went for thermal underlay which cost almost as much as the carpet itself. The end result is fantastic - the pile is so deep that it feels like walking on freshly fallen snow (except much warmer). The only problem is we are now  bit precious about it and the kids have to remove footwear before venturing in and the dog is going to be fitted with a hover-board.

We didn't have any carpets fitted in the downstairs of our old house but they were fitted to most of our new house when we moved in and I've decided I like them  - at least in living rooms - I'm not fussed on them in dining rooms and I find the concept of them in a bathroom as revolting. However, they do inevitably attract dirt and smells. I had planned to get them cleaned when we moved in but they weren't in too bad a state. However, since we have been in the house for a few months and have got round to doing some decorating I decided to clean them.

I've had mixed luck with carpet cleaners in the past. I had a Vax at one time but I found that they made the floor attract more dirt than they cleaned up. They were also cumbersome things that left the floor drenched for days. I have seen contraptions called "The Rug Doctor" in supermarkets so I thought I'd give one of these a go. I picked one up at the local Morrisons supermarket. The rental was £19 for a night which I thought was fairly reasonable but they also sell detergent for the cleaners and I think this is where they make their money from. I bought a 2.5 litre bottle for around £15 and, although it was recommended for the number of rooms I wanted to clean, it was way too much. I also have no idea whether this is any better than something that could be bought from the supermarket at a fraction of the cost. Nevertheless, it does actually seem to work.

The actual cleaners themselves are reasonably straightforward to use - at least once the rather confusing instructions have been discarded. The process involves filling the machine with a mixture of hot water and cleaning fluid and dragging it back over the carpet. The cleaner consists of a nozzle to spray the mixture on the carpet, brushes to agitate it and a fairly heavy duty vacuum to suck the resulting mess back in. It makes a Hell of a racket but the results are quite pleasing and the carpet is not the soggy mess that the Vax used to leave. The waste water is quite disgusting so it does clean out a lot of dirt. The only downside is that the machine is not designed for the tallest of people and I did have quite a bit of back strain after a while.

I have considered buying some sort of carpet washing device but at £19 a shot for the hire I'm quite happy to go with this type of thing. It is certainly a lot cheaper than new carpets.

Going Nowhere Fast

The government announced last week (for about the third or forth time) that they are going to investigate raising the motorway speed limit to 80mph. I suspect that this is mainly a populist nod to the nation's Audi owners and has nothing to do with "generating economic benefits of hundreds of millions of pounds through shorter journey times".  However, I think the exercise is a complete waste of time.

On the face of it, it sounds great, but how much difference does it make. On occasion, I drive from Central Scotland to North West England. It's quite a long journey so you would think a faster speed limit would be a big time saving. However, a sustained 80mph would only be reasonably possible between Motherwell and Preston - either side of this is far too congested. Still, this is a distance of around 170 miles so one would think it should make a big difference in journey times compared to driving at 70mph. In fact, it would save me 18 minutes - about the same time wasted by a typical roadworks. So does driving fast ever significantly reduce journey times? Well, it can do.

We have driven through Germany numerous times and there are still sections of their motorways which are unrestricted - in theory you could drive as fast as you like. I don't. First of all, driving very fast is remarkably stressful - traffic can change rapidly and the slightest imperfection in the road can make steering very sensitive. Then there is the fuel consumption - driving very fast makes fuel consumption figures go down the toilet. It may just be a family hatchback but you would end up with mpg figures which would make a Jaguar blush - and you don't even get the comfort of a Jaguar, or the acceleration of a Jaguar, or the quietness of a Jaguar, or even the general Jaginess of a Jaguar. Of course, if you were to drive very fast in a Jaguar you would end up with the fuel consumption of a Chieftain tank. On a couple of occasions we have driven very fast for sustained periods but this has been because we were late for a ferry. It is possible to haul back an hour or so journey time but it isn't fun or exhilarating. In fact, this also shows up the other downside of high speed motoring - it shreds tyres. After one ferry dash I had to replace the front set of (what had been ) fairly new Michelins.

To be perfectly honest, there isn't much to be gained by driving at 70 over 60mph. To travel from my house to Manchester at 60mph compared to 70 is only half an hour longer and the saving on fuel can be quite considerable: The wind resistance at the higher speed increases by about a third and this has to be paid for at the fuel pump. As it is, I tend not to travel at 60 but this isn't so much because of time considerations, rather that I actually get quite bored and overtake the odd HGV for amusement's sake. However, I can remember travelling down to South Wales during the fuel blockade of 2000. Few cars were on the road and most of those were travelling at 50mph and under - including myself. I managed to get an average fuel consumption on that journey of around 60mpg in a car that was officially measured at under 40mpg. I still managed to make the journey in reasonable time and probably saved around £15 in the process.

Actually, I am wondering if there is another reason for the proposal to raise the speed limit. The economic downturn combined with high fuel prices means that we are, as a nation, using significantly less fuel. TheAA estimate that this costs the exchequer over £1 billion per year in fuel duty. A faster speed limit may just raise that figure by increasing fuel consumption. Of course, it may also increase the number of severe accidents on the motorway network which will cause everyone to be delayed. Then everyone will be going nowhere fast.

Timey Wimey, Wibbly Wobbly

I ended up watching the new release of The Day Of The Daleks with the kids two weeks ago. This came from LoveFilm and, for once, they sent a disk on the first week of release. Everyone enjoyed it and I can highly recommend the second "enhanced" disk in which the special effects have been smarted up in the fashion of the Star Trek re-releases (no George Lucas type monstrosity here). They claim this was so it looked like how you remembered it when watching in the early 70s rather than how it would appear now with older, more cynical eyes. I have to say it worked as it looked magnificent and exactly as I remembered it.  Interestingly, for one of the early 70s episodes, the plot actually revolves around the implications of time travel: it's a proper Science Fiction story rather than just chasing around after the monster-of-the-week. It's surprising for a time travel show that has been around for nearly 50 years (off and on) how few of the stories actually involve the possibilities and paradoxes of this concept. What's more is that all three kids loved it and the oldest really got the concept of the plot. I say that the kids got it because I've become rather bored with numbskulls in the press (and numerous internet bulletin boards) saying that Doctor Who is too complicated and that they have to try to explain it all the time. Kids do get it - and I think they can understand very complex plots very easily. The ones who do lose the plot probably aren't paying attention or, at least, are casual viewers - which is a little more forgivable.

The second half of this year's Doctor Who series has, in my opinion, been better than the first - apart from the dog's dinner that was Let's Kill Hitler. I'll forgive that a little as I think there was a lot of backstory to fill in but subsequent episodes have really been hitting the bull's-eye every week. I've commented before how much I enjoyed Night Terrors - and I still think that is my favourite of the series - but the others have been as varied as could have been hoped for. The Girl Who Waited gave Karen Gillan a real chance to shine as an actress - although my eldest thought it was "a bit boring". Maybe it was a little more adult orientated but I still think it was beautifully written and acted and made the most of a "Doctor-Lite" episode. The God Complex was the "scary one". In fact this was a great one for horror film buffs to spot all the references. There were lots of bases touched with The Shining and several other Stephen King adaptations were hinted at (the clown in IT, anyone?) Penultimately, we had Closing Time - the inevitable funny one. Here it was the chance of Matt Smith to have an episode to himself and he really does get the whole "Doctor is an alien" thing - possibly more than any other actor in the role. I also enjoyed the way he hit it off with James Corden as the everyman caught in the middle.

So to the finale, The Wedding of River Song, and suddenly all the Steven Moffat penned episodes start to make make sense. In fact, it does show the real difference in style between him and previous show-runner Russell T Davies. Whereas Davies would have an overreaching story arc in the background which was touched on single episodes, Moffat's arc is the story and his five episodes actually make up one continuing series of episodes. If people have been confused by these is a very simple reason for it - they hadn't seen the full story yet. I'm not quite sure which approach I prefer. Whilst Davies self-contained episodes are easier to follow for the casual viewer, I think Moffat's stories are much richer and more fulfilling when seen all the way through. However, splitting the episodes up over a period of several months doesn't exactly make for an easy viewing experience. I suppose I was brought up on the classic Doctor Who series where the single stories played out over successive weeks and all that was really required to get into the series was a basic understanding that there was a mad man flying around time and space in a blue box. Whilst there were occasional nods to the committed fan there was no particular reason to know what had happened in earlier stories or, for that matter, whole different series. Having said that, Doctor Who was such a cultural phenomenon that it didn't really matter.

I'm probably going to have to watch the Moffat episoeds again to fully appreciate it but as far as the resolution went it was, more or less, what I was expecting - I had suspected that the Doctor that was killed would be a substitute although I was actually expecting it to be a "Flesh" Doctor. In fact, it's quite a clever move as now The Doctor is suspected to be dead he can go back to being the mystery man rather than some sort of inter-galactic superhero. I have also found out that the next series will not be shown until Autumn next year. It's always been an Autumn series for me - it was one of the things I always looked forward to after the school holidays ended. Maybe it is becoming the show I always remembered as a child?